For most people, being in love—or even looking for love—can be sublime, depressing, and vomit-inducing all at the same time. That's why so many cultures have turned to their patron gods and goddesses of love to guide them through this wonderful and terrifying part of being a human. All of these deities have very different outlooks on romance, so find out which deity you should turn to when Cosmo advice just isn't cutting it!
1. Do you believe in soul mates?
A. Yes, I believe in soul mates. Plural.
B. Believe in them? Guiding soul mates to each other is my whole job!
C. Nah, that lovey dovey stuff cramps my style.
D. Yes, but too many mistake true love for infatuation. Love must be nurtured if it is to last.
2. What do you look for in romantic partner?
A. Flattery, and lots of it. I run on compliments.
B. I'm not sure, but I'll know it when I see it.
C. Excellent kissing skills, and that is all.
D. Stability, strength, and commitment to me.
3. What are your hobbies?
A. Love affairs. I love love.
B. Matchmaking. I have a gift for bringing others together.
C. Let's just say that my honest answer to this question would be rated R.
D. I love domestic stuff, like sewing, gardening, and cooking.
4. Do you want to have kids one day?
A. I already have at least seventy. They pretty much take care of themselves.
B. It depends on so much. Ask me again later.
C. Blech! No way. You can have your snot-factories, and I'll keep my freedom, thanks.
D. Yes, I think parenthood is the most important experience a person (or deity) can have.
5. Where do you live?
A. A really plush mountain top. It's total luxury, though my roommates can be jerks.
B. I live on the moon. It's lonely, but the view is great.
C. I'm restless, and always on the move. The road is my home.
D. I live in my palace, but you're also likely to find me in bogs and marshes.
If you got mostly As, your patron god of love is Aphrodite! The ancient Greek goddess of love and beauty, Aphrodite is a great patron for love addicts. She delights in novelty, and so will not be a good fit for people looking for lifelong commitments. But if you're drawn to the emotional roller coaster of falling in love with someone new, then this is the deity for you. She will give you awesome seduction tips as well as advice on how to be as physically gorgeous as possible. Heck, you may even nab a date with Aphrodite herself! She is certainly not above seducing her own worshippers.
If you got mostly Bs, your patron god of love is Yue-Lao! In Chinese legend, he is an old immortal who specializes in true love. From his home on the moon, he looks out at all the singles on Earth at night, identifying which couples are destined to fall in love. He then unites the pining soul mates with an invisible silken cord, which slowly tightens until the pair meet and live happily ever after. If you believe that there is only one person out there in the world for you, then Yue-Lao is your patron god. Who knows—he may have already tied his cord around you and your fated soul mate!
If you got mostly Cs, your patron god of love is Tlazolteotl! The awesome spelling of this Aztec goddess's name matches her own free spirit and fierce independence. While the Aztecs had many deities of love and sex, Tlazolteotl is the only goddess who renounced fertility, true love, or motherhood—she's just out to have no-strings-attached fun. If you are a restless soul who feels relationships threaten your independence, the free-wheeling Tlazolteotl is the goddess to consult.
If you got mostly Ds, your patron god of love is Frigg! The most powerful of Norse goddesses, Frigg is a devoted wife to Odin, mother to Baldir, stepmother to Thor (amongst other amazing deities), and co-ruler of Asgard and Earth. Not to mention she's psychic! If you're the kind of person who wants to "have it all"—a rewarding career, a great family life, and the ability to make a positive difference in the world, Frigg can help you get there.
Who is your patron god of love?