The thing about stuff is that once they weren’t things then somebody decided they should be stuff. These certain somebodies are known as inventors and they are the reason why malls can offer such an interesting variety of expensive space wasters. Yet, these inventors are often overshadowed by their own products. So for the sake of remembering the creators that made our world a more cluttered place, take this quick quiz and see which famous inventor you are most like.
If you had a super power, what would it be?
A. I’d blow stuff up with my mind
B. I could see at night and illuminate dark spaces
C. I'd have super hearing and would communicate with people from long distances
D. I’d make delicious pastes out of root nuts (it’s a weird power)
E. I’d be really smart and great at wearing turtlenecks
F. I would travel quickly and also have an army of minions working for me
What is your personal style?
A. Sweaters, smoking jackets, and an unkempt mane
B. Suits and bow ties
C. I am defined by my powerful beard
D. My moustache is more mighty
E. Blue jeans and sneakers. I like black turtlenecks.
F. I put my pants on like everyone else… one guy puts my right leg through, another guy puts my left leg through, then a third zippers them, and a fourth buttons.
What is your greatest invention that you don’t get credit for?
A. The classically classy “mad scientist” hairdo
B. Lite Brite
C. Graham Crackers
D. Wooden teeth
E. Sentient Robots that look good in black turtlenecks… you’ll see
F. The Macarena
Who are you most commonly mistaken for in high school history classes?
A. Doc Brown from Back to the Future
B. Benjamin Franklin
D. George Washington
E. A back turtleneck model
F. Your creepy uncle
Which do you like most?
A. Violin Music
C. Chit Chat
E. Black turtlenecks
If you were going to conquer the world, how would you go about it?
A. The devastating power of physics
B. I will blind everybody except the ones wearing sunglasses… they’re cool
C. Intensive Telemarketing Campaign
D. I’m not sure… but it would really help if they had peanut allergies
E. In a black turtleneck.
F. I’d utilize an army of underpaid yet highly efficient drones
Who is your biggest enemy?
A. Hitler and/or socks
B. Nicholas Tesla… that jerk!
C. The “can you hear me now” guy
D. Those suckers at Smuckers
F. Labor Unions
And now for the results...
If you answered mostly As, you are Albert Einstein. You’re a super genius. You put a lot of care into your work but not so much into personal grooming. That’s okay though, because you’ll be remembered more for your mind than your mane. Be careful, however; your powers could be used for evil.
If you answered mostly Bs, you are Thomas Edison. You’re most respected for your persistence and creativity. Some people have even seen your creations and referred to you as a “wizard.” Some of the less informed have heard of your “science” and referred to you as a “devil.”
If you answered mostly Cs, you are Alexander Graham Bell. You are innovative and have ideas that could change the world. It seems that greatness is fated for you. Because, after all, doesn’t it seem a bit more than coincidental that a guy named Bell would invent something that rings?
If you answered mostly Ds, you are George Washington Carver. You invented peanut butter. People really like peanut butter. Good job.
If you answered mostly Es, you are Steve Jobs. This is the man who invented ALL the greatest things since sliced bread… except for a better means of comparison than sliced bread. Being like him makes you a genius. An innovator. A trendsetter. An inspiration. And possibly an individual who is planning world domination. Also, you look damn good in a black turtleneck.
If you answered mostly Fs, you are Henry Ford. You are both creative and business savvy. You built your legacy on efficiency. Not to mention that your sweatshops and child labor are the perfect solution to childhood obesity and early-onset diabetes!
Which inventor be ye?