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Action Heroes that Deserve Super Powers

Action Heroes that Deserve Super Powers

By Robert Punchur

Action heroes are some pretty badass human beings. Now, we're not sure if that is because of or in spite of the fact that they do NOT have any extraordinary powers aside from luck, courage, and killer one-line catch phrases. But imagine how much MORE awesome some heroes would be if, along with a pistol duct-taped to their back, they also had some super powers tucked up their sleeve? So in the name of fast-paced hard-hitting fantasy fighters, we proudly present Action Heroes That Deserve Super Powers.

Bruce Lee
Please, gods of Kung Fu Karate Kicks, give this guy the ability to breath fire! It wouldn’t even be that unbelievable. He already embodies every other positive stereotype about martial arts masters. He might as well vault that final hurtle and become a real-life Tekken fighter. Can you imagine how epic the scene would be when Bruce Lee disembodies four guys with one roundhouse kick and then spits a fireball to take out the fifth!? Heck, not only would it look awesome, it would be more believable than the super speed he already possesses.

Rambo
Rambo already draws several similarities to The Incredible Hulk. He is big, illiterate, misunderstood, and hunted. The key difference is that bullets hurt John Rambo. In fact, they draw blood. And when that happens, Rambo gets angry. And you won’t like him when he’s angry! Really, a lot of pain could be avoided if, like The Hulk, Rambo could just swat his attackers aside and continue on his way.

John McClane from Die Hard
Imagine if this bad attitude bad ass was able to dispose of his villains using super strength. The result would be something like Will Smith’s character in Hitchcock. Not to mention, the “Yippee-kai-yay” catchphrase would look totally awesome in a comic book speech bubble.

Martin Riggs from Lethal Weapon
This buddy cop movie would be even better if you gave the crazy guy heat vision! Can you imagine Riggs getting angry at a perp and then blasting a hole through him via laser beams from his eyes!? And then Danny Glover delivers his famed “too old for this s*@#” line? HILLARIOUS! Really, the only downside would be trying to convince Mel Gibson to return his heat vision to the studio after filming. Although, it would be cool to see it pop up again in his later films such as The Passion, which, if you think about it, is already a movie about a guy who has super powers.

Jason Statham’s character in Transporter
Okay, now this one’s tricky for a few reasons. First, we’re not entirely sure that Jason Statham doesn’t actually have super powers in real life. And second, the character Frank Martin really doesn’t need any extra powers to beat people up. Yet, what we’re asking for here isn’t fighting superpowers, but rather for writers to grant Frank Martin the ability to fly. Not only would it make his job as a transporter easier, but it would also save a lot of guys the pain and humiliation of a good old-fashioned Jason Statham beat down.

What other heroes deserve super powers?

Tags: movies, action heroes, die hard, super heroes, jason statham

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About the Author
Robert Punchur

Robert Punchur is a comedian, writer, and neat guy based out of NYC, America. You can do liking of his Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/RobertPunchurComedy

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.