Why Twilight Sparkle Should be the Next Pope
The cardinals have gathered in Rome and the conclave is ready to select the next Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. There is a larger list of names being thrown around this time than at any other point in recent memory, but we think there is one name that is tragically absent—Twilight Sparkle! We think she's got what it takes, and below are our reasons why.
A Horse of a Different Color
This particular papal election is unlike any other. You may hear people saying that it's the first time a pope has resigned in 600 years, but that's an understatement. The Pope who "resigned" 600 years ago was essentially fired. In fact in the entire 2000 year history of the papacy, no Pope has ever simply quit because he was too old or too tired for the job. A lot of cardinals see this as an opportunity for the church to bring in a substantially different kind of Pope. For most folks this has been taken to mean that we might possibly see a Pope from Africa, Asia, South America, or even North America. But why stop there? Wouldn't it be more dramatic to elect the first Pope from Equestria? Admittedly, it would be a big departure to elect a pope who is female, an alicorn, and a fictional character, but you've got to admit, it would be a new direction for the church.
She has the Disposition
Twilight Sparkle excels in matters of organization, planning, and logic. At the same time, she successfully negotiates a world filled with supernatural powers. What better combination of skills could you hope for in a leader who must simultaneously manage the needs and expectations of hundreds of millions of followers, and at the same time represent the interests of a divine being? And what about lectures? The Pope has to give tons of lectures, and Twilight Sparkle loves giving lectures! To be fair, the kind of lectures that she gives as Pope will probably have a different sort of content from the ones she's been giving to her friends in Ponyville, but we trust Twilight Sparkle to rise to the occasion.
She has the Experience
On top of everything else, Twilight Sparkle already has extensive experience using supernatural means to communicate with a higher authority. We have to presume that however God makes his will known to the Pope, it's not through a small dragon that vomits up scrolls (although if it is, that has got to be the coolest Vatican secret ever). Also, who better to be responsible for the 1.1 million volumes of the Vatican Library than a Pope who spent her formative years living in a library? Did you know that the Vatican Secret Archive is technically considered to be owned by whoever is the current Pope? We know somepony who is going to be very excited about that!
Friendship is Magic!
It may be a trite sentiment, but let's not overlook the fact that the Vatican could probably benefit from some of the lessons that Twilight Sparkle has learned over the last few years. She's used to dealing with big personalities and disparate character types, but through it all she is found ways to stay positive, move forward, and make the world a brighter place with the magic of friendship—just like the Pope.
Are there better candidates? Rarity loves fancy clothes. Applejack might have the kind of no-nonsense attitude the papacy needs. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.