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QUIZ: Which Fairy Tale Villain Are You?

QUIZ: Which Fairy Tale Villain Are You?

Heroes can be so boring sometimes! We wanna know about your (slightly) evil side. What makes you tick? What makes you mad? What makes you want to freak out and move into a candy cabin in the woods so you can lure children to you (Sure, joke's on you in the end, because those kids then grow up to be Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters but it'll be fun while it lasted, right)?

Anyway, give it up. Join the dark side!

1. Where's your favorite place to lie in wait for unsuspecting people to fall victim to your specific brand of terror?
A) In their grandmother's bed
B) In a castle, with a magic mirror working as my eyes and ears
C) In the forest, where I live in every child's dream house
D) In the sky, where gravity does not apply to me!
E) In my victim's own house, where she has no free will

2. What tools do you have at your disposal?
A) Sharp teeth and claws
B) Magic mirror... did I stutter?
C) Candy and a hot oven
D) Rhyming and a nose for news
E) Mind games

3. If you could vacation anywhere, where would you go?
A) Florida. So many old people there!
B) Beverly Hills for a little "R&R"
C) Willy Wonka's chocolate factory … I need some more ideas on how to off a few kids
D) Big World from Super Mario Bros.
E) Why would I leave my mansion? I get waited on hand and foot

4. You're going out to stir up some trouble. What do you wear?
A) Nightgown and bonnet (it's way more authentic with the bonnet)
B) A hooded cloak and a prosthetic witch nose
C) Candy necklaces and bracelets
D) Thanks to some magic beans, trouble comes to me
E) Ballgown! I'm gonna catch myself a man!

5. What's your ideal date?
A) A picnic & a drag show
B) Couple's massage & lipo
C) All-you-can-eat buffet
D) Just jamming out on my golden-lady harp
E) If he has money, who cares where we go?

6. What's your evil catchphrase?
A) Nobody's here but us grandmas!
B) Magic mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?
C) Fatten up!
D) Fee! Fie! Fo! Fum!
E) Ummmm. You missed a spot.

7. What’s your favorite thing to eat?
A) Children and grandmas. I thought we went over this?
B) Apples… lol, JK! Youth!
C) I’m gonna have to also say children. Fat children, specifically
D) Roast goose!
E) The self-esteem of my younger, prettier step-sister

8. What kind of car do you drive?
A) Cadillac. The better to drive you safely in, my dear
B) I travel side-saddle on a winged stallion
C) I don’t leave my house. People come to me!
D) Cloud-hopper
E) I walk so I can get my feet muddy and mess up the floors

9. What do you like to do on a Sunday?
A) Lay around in bed, doing Sudoku
B) At-home spa treatments
C) Trying out new recipes
D) Make my lady/harp play me music
E) Write mean comments on other people’s YouTube pages

10. What would you have been voted as a high-school yearbook superlative?
A) Best Dressed
B) Most Dramatic
C) Class Introvert
D) Biggest Personality
E) Most Popular


Mostly A's: You're the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood and you don't have to try very hard to live up to your name. You're ruthless, you take risks and have no qualms about eating little old women and/or children. But be forewarned: overconfidence can give way to recklessness really quickly. Trying to trick someone's next of kin using only clothing is not a great idea.

Mostly B's: Start polishing up that poison apple. Beautiful, evil and ever-so-vain, you're the Wicked Queen from Snow White. You have money, power and a whole castle to yourself… but you continue to want what you can't have. With age comes wisdom. Stop trying to steal beauty and youth!

Mostly C's: Cavities be damned! As the Witch from Hansel & Gretel, you live in a candy house because you know what the kids like. And like the Big Bad Wolf, you really have no qualms about eating a few of society's most defenseless. Don't stand too close to the oven, though, or you're bound to get burnt (as we mentioned previously).

Mostly D's: Fee, fi, fo, fum! We smell the blood of a Giant, son! Jack and his beanstalk's got nothing on you. You're living the dream—house in the clouds, the sharpest sense of smell around, more money than you can count, and a pretty dope harp. Call it a win.

Mostly E's: Ugly Stepsister, take a bow. You've very nearly ruined Cinderella's life with your Mean Girls-worthy tactics. You specialize in being manipulative, hideous, and just downright horrible. There's a place for you and it's definitely not on a throne.

Which fairy tale villain are you?

Tags: quizzes, fairy tales, life, grimm, hansel and gretel, big bad wolf

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Chrissie Gruebel

Chrissie Gruebel is a bunch of things separated by commas, but more often than not, she’s a writer, comedian, and wearer of too many colors at once. Here she is on Twitter: @chrissiegruebel.

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