Robert Pattinson Might Be Doctor Who!?
Earlier today, both BBC and Yahoo news reported that Twilight actor Robert Pattinson may be the next Doctor Who. Hopefully (probably) this is some sort of cruel April Fool’s prank. But in case it isn’t, we’d like to present a list of candidates who would make a better doctor than Robby Patpat:
Dwayne “The Doc” Johnson
Taylor Lautner (Team Jacob over here!)
An ACTUAL vampire (like an undead that can’t be in light and has an incomprehensible Transylvanian accent)
My goldfish, Swimmy
Brendan Fraiser (okay, maybe not him)
The Philly Phanatic
A large bag of gently used adult diapers
A Shamerock Shake
Nietzsche’s Meta-Existentialist concept of perspectivism
Bob the Builder
…just to name a few
Who else would make a better doctor than Ra-Patts?