Skip over navigation


Robert Pattinson Might Be Doctor Who!?

Robert Pattinson Might Be Doctor Who!?

By Robert Punchur and Featureflash /

Earlier today, both BBC and Yahoo news reported that Twilight actor Robert Pattinson may be the next Doctor Who. Hopefully (probably) this is some sort of cruel April Fool’s prank. But in case it isn’t, we’d like to present a list of candidates who would make a better doctor than Robby Patpat:

Grandmaster Flash

Rosie O’Donnell

Dwayne “The Doc” Johnson

Taylor Lautner (Team Jacob over here!)


An ACTUAL vampire (like an undead that can’t be in light and has an incomprehensible Transylvanian accent)

My goldfish, Swimmy

Brendan Fraiser (okay, maybe not him)

The Philly Phanatic

Kid Rock

A large bag of gently used adult diapers

Vin Diesel




A Shamerock Shake

Nietzsche’s Meta-Existentialist concept of perspectivism

Bob the Builder


…just to name a few

Who else would make a better doctor than Ra-Patts?

Tags: twilight, tv, robert pattinson, vampires, doctor who, bbc, matt smith

Write your own comment!

About the Author
Robert Punchur

Robert Punchur is a comedian, writer, and neat guy based out of NYC, America. You can do liking of his Facebook page here:

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email