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Robert Pattinson Might Be Doctor Who!?

Robert Pattinson Might Be Doctor Who!?

By Robert Punchur

http://img.sparknotes.com/content/sparklife/sparktalk/mindcontrolbaby_LargeWide.jpg and Featureflash / Shutterstock.com

Earlier today, both BBC and Yahoo news reported that Twilight actor Robert Pattinson may be the next Doctor Who. Hopefully (probably) this is some sort of cruel April Fool’s prank. But in case it isn’t, we’d like to present a list of candidates who would make a better doctor than Robby Patpat:

Grandmaster Flash

Rosie O’Donnell

Dwayne “The Doc” Johnson

Taylor Lautner (Team Jacob over here!)

Kermit

An ACTUAL vampire (like an undead that can’t be in light and has an incomprehensible Transylvanian accent)

My goldfish, Swimmy

Brendan Fraiser (okay, maybe not him)

The Philly Phanatic

Kid Rock

A large bag of gently used adult diapers

Vin Diesel

Shamoo

Shampoo

Shamwow

A Shamerock Shake

Nietzsche’s Meta-Existentialist concept of perspectivism

Bob the Builder

Farts

…just to name a few

Who else would make a better doctor than Ra-Patts?

Tags: twilight, tv, robert pattinson, vampires, doctor who, bbc, matt smith

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About the Author
Robert Punchur

Robert Punchur is a comedian, writer, and neat guy based out of NYC, America. You can do liking of his Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/RobertPunchurComedy

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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