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Which Star Wars Character Is Your Boyfriend?

Which Star Wars Character Is Your Boyfriend?

In honor of the greatest holiday on the planet, MAY 4 ("May the 4th be with you!"), here are some ways you can tell which Star Wars character is your boyfriend:

If your boyfriend is misunderstood, wears a lot of black, has a cape and questions leadership, your boyfriend is Darth Vader. Or you're boyfriend works at Hot Topic.

If your boyfriend is kind of dorky and awkward, but makes you laugh, your boyfriend is Jar Jar Binks. Another way to tell your boyfriend is Jar Jar Binks: Millions of people feel like he should have never been created.  In fact, the only person who likes him is a guy named George, who millions of people also believe has lost his mind throughout the years and is unfit to keep making movies.

If your boyfriend is a classic gentleman, an honorable human being who is willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good, then your boyfriend is Luke Skywalker. You might also be dating a Luke Skywalker type if he kissed his sister once and never met his Dad. Oh, family.

If your boyfriend seems wise beyond his years, and always remains calm even when the world around him is in tremendous chaos, your boyfriend is Yoda. Also, he's Yoda if he's real tiny and can't walk without a cane. If that's the case, you should probably stop dating him because he's more than four your age and it's probably illegal.

If your boyfriend is someone who's not very eloquent and lets his actions speak louder than his words, covered in hair, and is the most loyal person you've ever known, then your boyfriend is Chewbacca. Or your boyfriend is Italian.

If your boyfriend is a bad boy, an individual who doesn't get along with authority and is constantly in detention, then your boyfriend is Hans Solo. Be careful lending him money, unless you also have the money to hire a bounty hunter to track him down. And get used to being called "sweetheart" a bunch of times. Another thing to keep in mind, if you say "I love you," he's just going to say "I know." Finally, don't expect a long-term commitment. You're pretty much looking at a lifetime of telling friends, "It's complicated," and "You don't know him like I do."

If your boyfriend is a nerd, can speak multiple languages and is excellent at doing "the robot" at school dances, your boyfriend is C3PO. Don't take him to the beach, he'll just spend the whole day complaining about the sand.

If your boyfriend is adorable and always seems to be there for you whenever you need him, your boyfriend is R2D2. People like him tend to run in small circles—he probably doesn't have many friends. In fact he might just have one, very annoying, best friend that won't shut up about being a "protocol droid."

If your boyfriend has two light sabers, a red face and horns, he's Darth Maul. The real Darth Maul! You should run! How did you start dating Darth Maul? This is more on you than him. You need to take a good look in the mirror and figure out your life. But, first things first, talk to the police.

If your boyfriend seems nice and warm, but everyone around you says you can't trust him, your boyfriend is Landau Calrissian. For example, if you and you friends are being hunted by evil men, don't turn to him for a place to hide! He's only going to turn you over to the evil men. He's always looking out for himself, which is why he won't be a main character throughout the movie of you life.

So, which one's yours?

Tags: movies, star wars, boyfriends, lists, may 4

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About the Author
Anthony DeVito

Anthony DeVito is a NYC based comic. Originally from New Jersey, he was featured as one of the "New Faces" at the 2012 Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, recently taped a Gotham Comedy Live on AXS TV, performed at the 2013 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and 2013 SF Sketchfest, and is also the former host of "Say What?!" on the NOC TV. You can follow him on Twitter @anthonydevito_

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