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We Got Yer Weird Toys Here!

We Got Yer Weird Toys Here!

By Matt Heckler

BN.com

Just about every geek likes to collect memorabilia based on their favorite geeky franchises. If you’re a Trekker, you probably have a few action figures. If you love Doctor Who, you may be glancing at your TARDIS USB hub right now. This is all awesome stuff, but sometimes these little tie-in thingies can be… strange. This is a list of ten of the strangest sci-fi and fantasy products we could find on the interwebs!

1. Doctor Who – Adipose Stress Toy
Everyone needs to relieve stress from time to time, but this is a bit odd! For those of who you know their new Doctor Who, the Adipose were little creatures made from people’s fat that came to life. Naturally, that’s what you want to squeeze to get rid of stress, right?

2. Star Wars –Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
Don’t get us wrong—we LOVE Star Wars. What’s not to like? Swords made of beams of light, laser guns, big cool lookin’ ships, and strange alien creatures. But a sleeping bag recreating that scene early in The Empire Strikes Back where Han Solo slices open a Tauntaun to keep Luke warm? Definitely a bit weird, but also a bit awesome.

3. Star Wars – Severed Wampa Hand Ice Scraper
As if the sleeping bag wasn’t enough, there’s also a severed Wampa hand ice scraper, because that’s something everyone needs for the colder months. Be prepared for strange looks from all of your neighbors if you pick this one up!

4. The Hunger Games – Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook
The idea of a cookbook based on a series about young folks fighting to the death to avoid starvation seems at the very least a bit strange, and maybe slightly morbid. We can’t vouch for the individual recipes, but… yeah.

5. Star Trek – Enterprise Pizza Cutter
We are all constantly striving to show our geekiness, and going the extra mile in strange novelties is definitely a big step in that direction. Once your Star Trek action figure collection is complete and you need MORE nerdy memorabilia, why not an Enterprise pizza cutter?

6. The Amazing Spider-Man – Nail Polish
Obviously making extra money out of superhero movies is part of the deal. Tie-ins flood every market leading up to a release, but this one is a bit of a head scratcher. What about the famous web-slinger says "shiny, colorful fingernails?"

7. The Incredible Hulk Cologne
Just in case you wanted to smell like a big green monster dude from a comic book, there’s cologne based on the Incredible Hulk. The weirdest thing about this to us is that we're pretty sure The Hulk is the smelliest of all the Avengers.

8. The Hobbit – Epic Beards T-Shirt
When you think “awesome Tolkien t-shirt”, do you think “epic beards”?! If so, this t-shirt may need to be the next part of your geeky wardrobe. Wouldn’t be our first thought when it comes to Hobbit-y goodness, but beards ARE pretty awesome.

9. Batman – Cookie Jar
As Bruce Wayne suits up as Batman and flies through Gotham taking out bad guys with his insane physique and enormous mental acuity, cookies are obviously the first thing everybody thinks of. Why not a cookie jar in the shape of Batman?

10. Battlestar Galactica – Cylon Toaster
Taking the whole anti-Cylon name calling thing to its logical conclusion, this is a toaster that actually burns a Cylon face into the bread. Unfortunately, these awesome appliances were limited edition and are no longer available, but if you’re a huge Galactica nerd you can find ‘em on eBay!

In the world of crazy tie-ins there is an endless supply of stuff. Let us know if you’ve seen anything else that you think is worth a mention!

Tags: toys, shopping, batman, doctor who, the internets, collectibles, adipose

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About the Author
Matt Heckler

Matt Heckler is a writer, book critic, musician, movie nerd, sci-fi aficionado, and awesome beard haver from Chicago. When he isn't writing for The MindHut, he is drinking tasty beverages and working on his first novel. Follow him on Twitter @androiddreamer!

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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