This nasty mass of squid flesh you see before you is in fact thirteen feet long, and one of the rare specimens that man has actually managed to pluck from the ocean's depths. Although rarely cited, these fearsome, deep-sea creatures can grow up to FORTY-THREE FEET, and are one of the Earth's largest living organisms. On top of that, they have enormous razor sharp beaks not unlike that of a parrot, although they are capable of snapping objects far larger than a cracker. Their eyes are as big as your head and, oh, did we mention that they are known to battle sperm whales!!!!!????? In truth, these amazing animals are said to be "gentle giants" by those who study them closely, and historic accounts of these beasts doing battle with sea-ships are almost certainly myths. Either way, they remain one of nature's most insanely intimidating creatures.