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5 Super Hero Movies That Never Should've Been Made

5 Super Hero Movies That Never Should've Been Made

By Steven Romano

splashnews.com

There’s never been a middle ground when it comes to the overall quality of a super hero flick. It basically boils down to either a money-raking blockbuster or a humiliating cinematic disaster that will head straight for the bargain bin once it’s released on DVD. Terrible super hero movies deliver the suck in their own special way—whether it be gross liberties taken with the source material or a script obviously written by a rhesus monkey—and it's for that reason we’ve compiled a list of these crimes and more with 5 super hero films that never should’ve been made!

1) Blankman (1994)

As much as they like to think so, not everybody is able to master the fine art of the super hero parody. Because unless one wields an encyclopedic knowledge of the tropes and nuances of the genre, more often than not it’s bound to be a flop... like 1994’s Blankman. In this predictable comedy lacking a mote of charm, Damon Wayans plays a stereotypical, Batman-obsessed nerd (okay, now that's just hitting a little too close to home) taking to the streets as Blankman. An appropriate moniker since that’s the perfect way to describe the audience’s collective reaction when suffering through the movie's inane slapstick.

2) Catwoman (2004)

Popular culture has seen many actresses take on the role of Batman’s forbidden love interest, Catwoman, throughout the decades, with the likes of Eartha Kitt and Michelle Pfeiffer praised as the most iconic. Halle Berry, in spite of her being one of Hollywood’s most prolific actresses, must forever carry the burden of portraying the worst incarnation of the character in 2004. In fact, she was neither Selina Kyle or her successor, Holly Robinson. Berry played Patience Phillips—a completely new and unnecessary character. Why invent a brand new character. Probably because no one working on Catwoman wanted to do their research. Why bog down such an inspired plot centered around an evil cosmetics company with continuity?

3) Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)

Sometimes, no matter how well-received a film series is, there comes a point in its run when someone has to stand up and say “stop.” But that's assuming people are actually willing to listen. Undaunted by the utter failure of Superman III—which was essentially a Richard Pryor comedy co-starring Superman—Cannon Films’  Golan-Globus Productions acquired the rights to the Superman franchise and immediately set to "work" on Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Placing the cart before the horse, the studio approached an apprehensive Christopher Reeve with a reprise of the titular role well before the script was completed. Additionally, Golan-Globus had allocated so much money to other movies in production that Superman IV was sorely under budget. Not that it mattered as it was pretty much destined to be a flop, regardless of the budget.

4) Batman and Robin (1997)

Is it even possible to make a terrible Batman movie? If you’re director Joel Schumacher, then, yeah, it’s feasible. Pressured by the reaction of parental groups towards the macabre tone of 1992‘s Batman Returns and having to outperform the success of Batman Forever, Schumacher was hard-pressed to deliver another blockbuster with Batman and Robin. In the end, we got what was tantamount to a live Batman stage show that played out like a really bad piece of fan fiction. It wasn't all bad, however. Batman and Robin's box office performance ground production of the next installment, Batman Triumphant, to a screeching halt. The world was and still isn't ready for Howard Stern as Scarecrow...

5) Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)

First Catwoman and then Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2? Was 2004 the year of supremely awful business decisions?! Apparently so since some Hollywood producer felt that the original Baby Geniuses was such a box office smash that it was well overdue for a sequel—and needed some super hero flair. The only logical way the studio could’ve even roped in actors for Baby Geniuses 2 is if they had their interns stalking celebrities in a windowless van and abducting them against their will. There is some justice in the universe, we suppose, since what it ultimately grossed was $11 million dollars shy of its original (and absurd) $20 million dollar budget. Geez, were the diapers made of imported silk or something?

Which movie do you think is the worst?

Tags: movies, batman, superman, videos, trailers, the dark knight, man of steel

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About the Author
Steven Romano

Like Captain America, Steven Romano is just a boy from Brooklyn. When he isn't contributing to The MindHut and other geeky websites, Steven's hard at work writing his first novel and comic book scripts. Follow him on Twitter @Steven_Romano, and swing by his blog: stevenromano.tumblr.com

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