How Does Superman Shave?
One of the cool things to come out of the hype machine for the (let’s admit it—middling) Man of Steel movie is a cool little promotional project by Gillette Razors called “How Does He Shave?.” We know, WE KNOW! It's an ad. A commercial. And no, we're not getting any money to mention it, but let's face it... this is a question that kids and adults alike have been asking for decades—if Superman is essentially invulnerable to human technology, how does he trim his super-stubble?
Gillette asked for opinions from five of America’s leading celebri-nerds (Adam Savage, Jamie Hyneman, Bill Nye, Mayim Bialik, and Kevin Smith). Each answer comes in the form of a short YouTube video outlining that particular theory. Viewers are encouraged to vote for their favorite. Presently, Bill Nye has a solid lead, though we are partial to Kevin Smith’s answer ourselves, since he does an admirable job of keeping things well-grounded in the comic book universe.
It’s possible that Nye (or Smith) has got it right, but we are inclined to think that all of the theories given are off base. Hear us out—this isn’t the only time this sort of issue must come up. Superman alone also has to deal with cutting his hair, trimming his nails, and of course (as addressed in Superman Returns) dealing with surgical needs. On top of that, Supes isn’t the only neigh-invulnerable being in the DC universe by a long shot. All these walking gods must have similar problems.
Our solution—super-grooming club! Once every couple weeks all the superfolks (heroes and villains alike) hold a brief truce while they helpfully use their superpowers and weapons to groom one another. They may even use this time to give each other super-massages. (After a tough day of punching tanks Superman’s shoulders aren’t going to get loosened up by a Lois Lane level backrub.) Once everyone is all trimmed and fixed, they all head back out to the daily grind of beating the living snot out of one another.
What’s your take? How does Superman shave?