Afghan Hounds playing baseball? Hypnotic caterpillars? Arnold Schwarzenegger?! What could these otherwise incongruous things possibly have in common? Logically speaking, nothing aside from the fact that all of them and more appear in Japanese commercials. We scoured the interwebs and found the 5 craziest Japanese commercials for your puzzled amusement!
1) Consome Panchi
When dogs imitate humans (e.g. dancing in a conga line, pushing a baby stroller), heck yes, it’s comedy gold. But when dogs start moving exactly like humans, well, sir, now you’ve crossed the Rubicon into the realm of pure nightmare. And it doesn’t matter how hungry we are, never would we—and neither should you—ever accept potato chips from a creepy anthropomorphic dog that likely wants dominion over your soul in return. Even if they’re of the spicy variety! C’mon, man, don’t start falling into temptation on us now...
2) Alinamin V Energy Drink
It isn’t anything new that western celebrities fly out to the Land of the Rising Sun to endorse the country’s bevy of delightfully odd products, although many can’t say that their commercials are as batscat insane as the ones starring one Mr. Arnold “Governator” Schwarzenegger! Alinamin’s marketing team must’ve unanimously agreed that nothing resonates with the consumer quite as well as Schwarzenegger laughing like an escaped mental patient while making it rain. And that Soviet era propaganda music in the background—very nice touch!
3) Green Tea
This commercial makes us wonder how hard are these tea pickers working that they start hallucinating that the caterpillars are talking to them, let alone capable of hypnosis? And don’t get us started on the commercial’s inaccuracy. We can attest to the fact that caterpillars—and virtually any insect for that matter—are actually terrible conversationalists. Crazy? Who said that we’re crazy, the caterpillars? Typical.
4) Meiji Mutual Life
It’s still difficult to tell what this is supposed to be: A commercial for life insurance or a short brainwashing video meant to be shown to someone undergoing the Ludovico technique à la A Clockwork Orange. Either way, you’re a champion. You’re a champion. (Plan for your future with Meiji Mutual Life!) You’re a champion...
5) Cup Noodle Milk Seafood
We appreciate Cheese Alien and Pepper Alien adding some cheese and pepper flavor, respectively, to our instant ramen (it’s sorely lacking without them), but do they really have to jump people when they’re alone in the woods? We understand that the eccentric pair are just doing their job, but there’s a difference between that and stalking people behind their backs. And jail likely wouldn’t tolerate the acquired taste of Cheese and Pepper Aliens’ tomfoolery.
Which commercial do you think is the craziest?