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7 Old-Timey Inventions That Were Totally Steampunk

7 Old-Timey Inventions That Were Totally Steampunk

1. The Phone Answering Robot

Besides looking super cool in a dress, this robot's name is a misnomer; it actually can only pick up and put down the phone, not answer or even take messages. Which begs the question of whether or not it will pick up and put down the phone when you're not around. Advancing the machine uprising, one missed call at a time.


2. The Camera Gun

Finally, something that allows me to take pictures of people while I'm shooting them! Thank you, Smith & Wesson & Kodak! Except for the bounty hunting market, we can't really see how this would have caught on.


3. The One-Wheeled Motorcycle

This one is actually pretty cool, especially if you have a fetish for hula hoops. This guy has a smug little smile on his face because he invented "all-wheel drive" before it was a thing.


4. The Radio Hat

The Radio Hat was invented in an alternate reality where the phrase "you look like an idiot" never came into common usage. The phrase was replaced by "Lookin' phat in your radio hat, brah."


5. The Bomb Siren/Mechanical Marching Band

We know it looks like some sort of surrealist art or a scene from Fantasia, but this was actually an early warning system for bombings during World War I, or perhaps the War of The Brass Section.


6. The Creeping Baby Robot

Capture all the cuteness, love, and inherent freakiness of a baby learning to crawl in this contraption that has about as much charm as a thumbscrew.


6. The Clockwork Monk

This contraption is one of the oldest automatons known to mankind, from the 16th century. And you wouldn't believe even back then what they could do with gears. When you put the key in, this guy walks in a little square, strikes his chest with his right arm, raises a rosary in his left hand, and mouths prayers. The question is, does God listen to robots?


7. The Newark Steam Man

Probably the closest thing to the fake robot Boilerplate we'll ever find. Meet the Newark Steam Man, who was invented to be a carriage-puller and was nicknamed "Daniel." To make him appear more human so he wouldn't scare other horses, they clothed his boiler in "woolen undergarments" and the rest of him in other clothes "of the latest styles." Because who wants a naked robot.


Tags: inventions, lists, robots, life, steampunk

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Scott Greenstone

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