7. The Froghopper
Froghoppers have some disturbing habits, including frothing at the mouth and bleeding stinky goop out of their abdomens. But the upside is that they are the most spectacular jumpers in the entire world. They can leap about the same distance as fleas, but their performance is much more impressive given that they are 60 times heavier (plus we are somewhat partial to the leaf-sucking froghopper over the blood-sucking fleas...blech). Astonishingly, the froghopper's initial speed is about 4 meters/second, which exposes the garden bug to over 400 gs of acceleration! They've also evolved a handy fake head on their butts to wig out predators. Channeling this guy would have all kinds of social applications. For example, the next time you're bored at a party, you could either a) let people talk to your decoy butt-face while you catch some z's, or b) say "see ya, losers!" and jump to another party all the way across town!