We Recap the New SyFy Reality Competition Heroes of Cosplay!
What is Heroes of Cosplay? Well, it's a drama centered around two handsome and well-dressed lawyers who handle difficult court cases with... hold on...
Sorry. I was watching Suits.
Heroes of Cosplay is a SyFy reality series competition that takes place in the artistic, sexy, and cutthroat world of Cosplay. We watched the first episode and want to tell you ALL ABOUT IT!
Let's meet our contestants:
Character: Merida from Brave
Quote: "I'm the method actress of the cosplay world. When I cosplay, I cosplay."
Lost in the translation was her added emphasis on the second play.
Info: Cosplay newcomer, has a fun mustache, wants to build costumes for a living.
Character: Vault Dweller
Info: They were referred to as "scrappy" and drove a Back to the Future inspired DeLorean. They love Dungeons and Dragons. These two seem to be friends despite the fact that they obviously straight up hate each other.
Characters: Tiefling Ranger and Drow Sorcerer (Dungeons and Dragons)
Info: She's known in the community for her "accurate cosplay." She is very mean to her boyfriend, Jinyo.
Character: Lulu from Final Fantasy X
Quote: "I'm a real crazy perfectionist."
You're half right, Vics!
First Impression: No thank you.
Info: She's a former cosplay superstar turned judge. She referred to herself as a "brand." Mean to her boyfriend. Said the word "me" an estimated 1,001 times in a two minute clip.
Quote: "Brian is my fiance. He is my lifeline. Our business is owned by him and me together and is really a 50/50 partnership even though I am the boss."
Before the first cosplay competition—referred to as "Wizard World Portland"—the cast, sans Jesse and Yaya, meetup to go bowling.
Sorry, no boys or judges allowed. We learn a few important details:
1. Cosplayers make atrocious bowlers.
2. Jessica informs the ladies that "Spoiler alert! Yaya is a judge." This is in no way shape or form a "spoiler" since she herself found this information on the Wizard World website, which is accessible to all contestants as well as all human beings since it's on the internet.
3. Victoria's costume (Lulu from Final Fantasy X) might be too ambitious to finish in time for the competition.
DRAMA. STAKES. INTRIGUE. Wizard World Portland is just a week away!
Victoria, labeled in my notes as "the worst," attempts to push the traditional limits of normal social etiquette by verbally berating her boyfriend when the embroidery machine malfunctions.
Jinyo: I got bad news for you.
Victoria: There is no bad news allowed.
Jinyo: I'm going to have to replace this.
Victoria: What the heck are you talking about?
I don't normally say this to complete strangers I just met via a reality television series I'm recapping, but you two should definitely breakup.
In a slightly saner section of town, Holly and Jessica decide to do a head cast of Jessica's head. Like I said, slightly saner. From my understanding a head cast, scientifically speaking, is when you completely submerge a person's head in weird goop. Things do not go smoothly.
"If we have to cut Jessica out of this head cast she will not only have no costume, she will have no head."-Holly
I kind of feel guilty that my initial reaction was "good" when they said Jessica may lose her head, but in my defense, and a true spoiler alert, her head remains on her body.
"Having a giant cement head as a friend is going to make cosplaying difficult," Holly says after the commercial break.
Well, yeah with that attitude it will.
Checking in with Victoria:
Jinyo: I'm going to stay here and finish up the pieces and overnight it to your hotel.
Victoria: (yelling like her boyfriend didn't just make her a super generous offer): Well, I'd rather you come with me!
So Victoria arrives at Wizard World Portland and runs into Yaya (the judge). Victoria, possibly unsure about the definitions of the words "judge" or "competition," informs Yaya that her costume "isn't quite ready yet." Yaya says she's "not surprised," and admits that Victoria is notorious in cosplay circles for "always waiting until the last minute to finish her costume."
Fore, meet your new friend, shadow.
Back in LA, Holly and Jessica have an argument about horns and professionalism in a costume shop. Seriously. That happened. Turns out that Holly doesn't want to use fake horns because it will ruin their chances of winning the competition. I'm not sure if she's correct, but using horns definitely DID ruin my chance of winning my 4th grade spelling bee. If you can't spell B-U-C-K-E-T, throwing a horn at your classmate won't solve the problem. Trust me.
Back at Wizard World Portland cosplayers dressed as Captain America and a Ghostbuster proceed to buy Victoria and Becky drinks. Becky wonders if Victoria should be drinking so heavily considering her costume isn't ready. Listen Becky, you don't become notorious for waiting until the last minute without, you know, waiting until the last minute. Victoria continues to drink alcohol as I wonder how to insert some sort of "pour decision" joke into this paragraph.
Back with Holly and Jessica:
Holly: I am super stressed out. Every time I compete I have that spark of crazy come back.
Jessica: If it stops being fun, I have no problem pulling the plug. I learned that from Mary Poppins.
Holly gives Jessica the biggest eye roll in recorded history.
It's finally time for the contest! Honestly, all of the costumes look fantastic. I now understand the stress. Every single person who atttend these competitions are impeccably dressed, so arriving with a subpar costume is not an option.
Wait, did I develop legitimate feelings for these people?
Everybody's ready for the competition... except Victoria!
Her poor, poor, poor boyfriend overnighted her costume in time, but she was out so late she overslept. Now she's in her hotel room stitching up her costume. Looks like somebody should have had a shot of TIME MANAGEMENT last night.
THE COMPETITION BEGINS! The MC uses the words "esteemed" and "world renown" in a seemingly unironically manner.
The criteria for this cosplay event: showmanship, craftsmanship, difficulty, and jazzhands. Okay, I made up jazzhands.
Here are a list of some of the cosplay costumes in the competition: Totoro, Futurama, Iron Man (made out of yoga mats and a Snapple bottle), Big Sister, Galactus, Warlock, and Jack Sparrow.
Sincerity alert: They were awesome!
As for our contestants:
Becky looked beautiful as Merida. I believe she played the part well. She came out she declared to the audience, "Don't panic there may be a bear roaming around!" and to the audiences' credit, they did not panic.
My ranking: 8/10
Jesse (Vault Dweller): Maybe it's just because I despise Jesse the least out of all the contestants, but I thought his costume was severely underrated by the judges.
My ranking: 8.5/10
Jessica & Holly: Tiefling Ranger and Drow Sorcerer
Holly drops the microphone on the way out, and I legitimately feel bad for her. Why is this show making me feel!? Stop cosplaying with my emotions. Yaya earns her judging badge this week when she states that she's not too pleased with their store bought horns. I would have retorted, "Well, too bad we can't all grow our own horns like you, Yaya."
Other than that the horns fiasco, Jessica and Holly's costumes are well-crafted and very original.
My ranking: 9.5/10
Victoria: N/A because she never showed up. It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game. But since she didn't play the game she lost at that too.
My ranking: 0/10 and a frown face :-(
The judges deliberate and the results are in:
Becky (as Merida) wins an honorable mention.
3rd place: Totoro (not a cast member on the show)
2nd place: Futurama (not a cast member on the show)
Best team award: Jessica & Holly for their Dungeons and Dragons characters: Tiefling Ranger and Drow Sorcerer
Jessica: (singing) We won a trophy. Aren't you pleased? You can like celebrate a little bit.
Holly: (Not pleased) We could have done something more...(Jessica grabs Holly and forces her to dance). Oh God you're touching me.
Jessica: Smile, smile.
Holly: I'm gonna hit you. I'm gonna hit you!
Jessica: We won.
That partnership is not going to end well.
1st place: Galactus. (not a cast member on the show)
Some people may find it strange that contestants not involved with the reality show won first, second, AND third place since it would be impossible for the viewer to form an emotional attachment to their victories.
Those people would be correct!
In Galactus' defense, the costume was amazing. Can Galactus be on the show? Victoria didn't even FINISH HER COSTUME. That's kinda your only job, Victoria!
My week 1 cosplay rankings:
1. Jessica & Holly—I find these two and their odd-couple esque shenanigans amusing.
2. Jesse—A solid second place behind the dynamic bickering duo.
3. Victoria's Boyfriend Jinyo—He's not even a real cast member, but he has the patience of a mountain climber.
4. Becky—Why so serious?
6. Victoria—I'm standing by my initial reaction of "no thank you" and adding "ugh."
Hope you enjoyed the Heroes of Cosplay week one recap!
Did you watch the first episode? Who was your favorite character? What was your favorite costume?