With the news of the new Star Wars movies that are set to be released, it seems that everyone is talking about the beloved film series, and some people seem to be engaging in some revisionist history. As in, claiming that the prequels (The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith) weren’t bad. Maybe even good. We can’t, in good conscience, allow this sort of weird history rewriting to continue. So without further ado, we give you five reasons that the Star Wars prequels completely, totally, and absolutely were the worst. Just in case you needed a reminder.
1) Jar Jar Binks
Oh, you knew he’d be on this list. The awful, not funny, mildly (or severely, depending on who you’re talking to) racist character that just basically ruined the entire first movie. I mean, the plot was bad enough, but really, George? Meesa think Jar Jar SUCKS.
2) The technology
Yes, the prequels were pretty. No one’s arguing there. But the technology in the prequels looks newer and, more importantly, more advanced than what’s in the original movies. You can make all the arguments you want about how the stuff they’re using in Episodes IV–VI is thirty years old, blah blah blah, but the fact is, Lucas wanted to show off and as a result, made these movies completely unbelievable.
3) The acting/directing/writing in the love scenes
There were some great actors in the prequels: Ewan McGregor, Samuel L. Jackson, Natalie Portman, and Jimmy Smits, just to name a few. But have you sat through the painfulness that is the “love” scenes on Naboo between Anakin and Padme? If you haven’t, go watch. We’ll wait.
Seriously... there’s no chemistry between Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman. This is a woman who’s won an Oscar, yet even she just can’t make that clunky dialogue and bad directing work.
4) The Jedi were kind of lame
Okay, yes, seeing actual Jedi fight (as opposed to Luke wandering around waving his lightsaber) was pretty cool. But these are supposed to be the all-knowing guardians of the galaxy. They’re smart and sophisticated. They pay attention to what’s going on around them using the Force (but apparently not their eyes and guts, if you believe the prequels). So you’re telling me that the Jedi council didn’t know that Palpatine was a Sith? That Anakin was secretly married and, you know, pretty vulnerable to the dark side? Oh, yes, they made all kinds of allusions about the dark side at work and Anakin’s emotions and such, but in the end, they all died.
Yeah, not so great after all.
5) Anakin Skywalker
Let me ask you one question: At any point during the prequels, did you actually like Anakin Skywalker?
Our answer is NO. The whole point of these movies is to watch the devastating and tragic fall of Anakin Skywalker so we can be all happy he’s redeemed at the end of Return of the Jedi. It’s a circle, and all that. But the fact is, no one really cared. He’s actually more likeable as Darth Vader—at least that guy had some great lines (and didn’t whine).
In Episode I, Anakin’s an annoying, wide-eyed child who… well, is annoying. If Jar Jar Binks hadn’t been the one to ruin the movie, then that would have been Anakin’s job. In Attack of the Clones, he’s a whiny teenager with a crush. And in Revenge of the Sith? Well. He’s an emo shoe-gazer whose fall to the dark side is bafflingly quick. I mean come on. We never even LIKE the guy. How are we supposed to care about any of these movies?!
Disagree? Let us know below!