Who's excited for episode two of Heroes of Cosplay? You know we are! Did everybody BYOC? (Bring your own costume.) We did! And we're going as a crime fighting burrito named Sal!
This week's episode takes place at the Emerald City Comicon in Seattle, Washington and within the very first minute we are greeted by three brand new Heroes of Cosplay contestants!
1. Chloe Dykstra: Host of the Nerdist cosplay program Just Cos. Chloe has a friend named Poet and decides to dress up like Lydia from Beetlejuice, complete with Sandworm. So, yeah, we're already 100% in on Chloe.
2. Monika: A young cosplayer who decides to dress as a provocative Steampunk Poison Ivy much to the dismay of her mother. She was discovered by cosplay judge/Heroes of Cosplay cast member Yaya Han, and made "cat ears" for her when she 13. She mentions this job like it was as routine as a paper route.
3. Riki: A cosplay veteran who has an affinity for comics and wants to pursue a career in costume design. Riki will be competing as Hellgirl at Emerald City.
Back to the contestants we met last week.
After failing to participate last week because she chose a costume that was too intricate to create, Victoria decides to create a costume from Tron that in her words is, "Easily the most intricate costume she has ever made."
Cool. This will probably end well for her.
Narrator: Still feeling the sting of humiliation in Portland, Victoria has Jinyo hard at work creating an elaborate costume to salvage her reputation in Emerald City.
Why isn't Victoria making her own costume you ask? Great question that I do not have an answer to. Actually, I do. Because she's awful.
Victoria: (dismissively to Jinyo) These better be the best shoes ever.
Jinyo, buddy, blink twice if you are being held against your will.
Back in the land of civilized behavior, Jesse—mustache, trying to parlay cosplay into a job, normal/nice person—attempts to vacuum form his Steamtrooper Steampunk Star Wars helmet, but an electrical error sets him back to the point where he may not have enough time to finish his costume.
In other costume related news, Chloe needs some help finishing Sandworm, so she visits...
Last week's number one rated cosplayers, Holly and Jessica!
Chloe, Holly, AND Jessica! It's like The Avengers of Cosplay!
Chloe comments on how attractive Holly is and Holly adorably dismisses her compliment. We find out that Jessica and Holly aren't attending Emerald City this week, as I make an emergency trip to Best Buy to purchase a new TV that doesn't have a large hole in the center, as well as a bandage for my fist.
Meanwhile, back in awful town...
Victoria gives Jinyo some rare encouragement, like a prison guard doling out a Christmas time compliment to an inmate. It's nice to see Jinyo almost smile.
Victoria mentions (AGAIN) how she wants to impress Yaya.
Breakdown of Victoria's dialogue on the show:
Mentions of Yaya: 20%
Insulting Jinyo: 44%
Talking about herself: 35%
Being a pleasant human: 1%
I almost feel sorry for her. But I don't. And if I'm being 100% honest, I'm kind of rooting for her to fail in all her cosplay endeavors.
WHAT IS THIS SHOW DOING TO ME?!
All of the cosplayers arrive in Seattle. Why is it that every single cosplay significant other perpetually looks like they're getting a mug shot?
Victoria receives a text from Yaya which would be like any normal person getting three consecutive texts from Obama, The Rock, and God.
Victoria and Yaya meet and discuss Victoria failing to appear at the competition last week and various other super-villain topics. Yaya posits that Jinyo is the true architect behind Victoria's costumes, while I posit the word duh.
Later, for reasons unknown to conventional wisdom, Chloe is excited to see Victoria when she suddenly appears like a vampire in a poorly financed horror movie. Victoria invites Chloe to a cosplay cocktail party.
Fun times, right? Think again.
The topic of "cosplay pet peeves" is broached.
Chloe: I think that anybody should be whatever they want to be whenever.
This seems like a fair and reasonable stance, correct? Wrong. The cosplayers pounce on Chloe like a pack of people who like to dress up as hyenas.
Riki: But if a 300 pound person wears Superman and they put themselves out there and it gets on the net, how's that going to help?
Chloe: I dont know who made up these rules; there's like this grand cosplay lord who's like, you shall not cosplay something if you are overweight. That's ridiculous. Cosplay is about having fun and being who you are and who you want to be.
Narrator: While Jesse struggles to finish his costume to prove he's ready to become a professional prop master, Yaya gets dressed in her C2 Butterfly Gown from Code Geass to remind everybody why she's qualified to be a judge.
Chin up, narrator.
Victoria is still having issues with the electricity involved in her Tron costume.
Jinyo: I'm sure it will work.
Victoria: You're just hoping it works, so I don't freak out on you.
Jinyo: Yeah exactly.
It's FINALLY time for our favorite part of the program: the costume competition!
A few of the other costumes at the event: Howl Jenkins, Queen Amidala, Doctor Doom, Draenei Shaman, and Batman. On to the main event.
Riki's costume looks a little like this, but Yaya is upset she didn't go the whole nine yards and paint her entire body. A nice, but considering the competition, kind of average costume.
My ranking: 7/10
The electronics on Victoria's Tron costume are malfunctioning as we find out she may not be able to compete. What? Again?! This is literally the happiest I've been since Christmas '96.
Victoria: Can you just figure out where this goes?
Jinyo: I'd like you to figure out why you're being so argumentative all of a sudden.
Victoria: I don't know whether I should yell at you, or like, hit you...
I'm going to point out that these are the actual words that she said TO HER BOYFRIEND. WHO IS TRYING TO HELP HER. A moment later the lights on her costume suddenly begin to work.
Chloe (Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice and Sandworm):
Chloe's costume goes over super well as the crowd erupts in applause! All is right with the world.
Chloe: You know what? I am proud of myself because I was terrified to go out on that stage and I did it!
My ranking: 9.5/10
I'm not even going to pretend to be impartial, but in all honestly her costume was amazing. After watching Victoria and Yaya it's just nice to see a recognizable portrayal of a cool, kind person.
Victoria (Tron Dress):
The crowd really does seem to enjoy Jinyo's craftsmanship. Hey, that's just dynamite.
Judge Yaya asks Victoria if she had any help making the contest. The camera pans to my main man Jinyo as Victoria sidesteps the question. To be continued.
My ranking: Victoria, 1/10 Jinyo, 9/10 Overall: 5/10
Monika (Steampunk Poison Ivy):
The judges don't quite feel like Monika captured the essence of Steampunk Poison Ivy, and I have to say I agree. Monika seems visibly upset, but I tell her to hang in there.
She of course doesn't hear me because that's not how television works.
My ranking: 5.5/10
Jesse (Steamtrooper Steampunk Star Wars):
Jesse: That crowd reaction was everything rolled into one, perfect, fine moment.
Jesse believes he won, but if reality television has taught me anything... nope. It hasn't. But he's so confident that it worries me that it won't end well for our mustachioed hero.
My ranking: 9.5/10
And the Heroes of Cosplay Emerald City winners are:
3rd Place: Batman (not a cast member on the show)
Victoria: If he's third, I don't want to be a &*$% and be like, well I'm totally going to be second or first, but I believe I deserve something in there.
2nd Place: Queen Amidala (not a cast member on the show)
1st Place: Draenei Shaman (not a cast member on the show)
Cool. Another week of characters we know absolutely nothing about winning awards.
The Draenei Shaman was a physically impressive costume, but I'm surprised Chloe and Jesse didn't place.
My week 2 Heroes of Cosplay rankings (last week's rankings in parentheses):
1. Chloe (NR): An absolute delight. She's the reason you get into the recapping Heroes of Cosplay game.
2. Jesse (2): Just seems like a genuine, solid dude that you can't help but root for.
3. Jessica & Holly (1): Not really involved in this week's episode, but their absence proved how important these two are to the cosplay recapping game.
4. Jinyo! (4): Is he a regular cast member on the show? Stay strong, friend.
5. Riki/Monika (NR): Grouping them together because they're both new, and both have awkwardly spelled names.
6. Yaya (5): Last week I gave her a "Eh," and this week I'm adding a "C'mon."
7. Victoria (last place): Victoria, if not for common decency then for my own personal sanity, can you please be nice to Jinyo?
Who's your favorite character so far? Who do you think had the best costume this week?