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A Fake Interview With RoboCop

A Fake Interview With RoboCop

Ever wonder what it would be like to conduct a fake interview with a fictional character? Hopefully, you do. This week we sat down with RoboCop from the 1987 film RoboCop and ask him the tough questions.

So, you’re known on the streets as “RoboCop.”  But, I understand that’s not your real name?

Affirmative.  My human name is “Murphy.”

Murphy.  Like a Murphy bed?

Affirmative. The comfortable bed that can be pulled down from a ceiling.  A space saver.  Ideal for cramped, city living.

That brings up an interesting topic because you live in Detroit, Michigan.  Where, specifically, do you rest your head at night?

Understood.  My head rests on my shoulders.  So, wherever my shoulders are at night.

Recently, Detroit has had its share of financial problems and has even filed for bankruptcy.  What are your thoughts on the subject?

Serve the public trust. Protect the innocent. Uphold the law.

Okay. What’s your biggest weakness?

Memories.

What’s your greatest strength?

I’m half man, half machine, all cop. The poster says that.

What’s your favorite food?

Motor oil.

If you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would you choose and why?

Ronald Reagan. He is my president.

Interesting. Is there a “Mrs. RoboCop” or any kind of woman in your life?

Affirmative. My partner Anne Lewis.

There are plans to erect a “RoboCop” statue in the city of Detroit by the year 2014, care to comment?

If I was capable of tears, right now they would be shed.

Detroit is known as the “Motor City”, what’s the first car you ever owned?

A police car.

Okay. Detroit also has a rich history of sports, are you a big fan of Detroit Pistons basketball or Detroit Red Wings hockey?

My allegiance is with the Detroit police department.

What’s your least favorite quality in a person?

Criminal intent.

What do you value most in a person?

Obedience.

Understandable. Now, most of your friends are co workers from the police force. You mentioned Anne Lewis earlier, but do you hangout with anyone outside that part of your life?

Mayor Dave Bing.

You’re talking about the mayor of Detroit. So, you’re a man of few words, what do you and Dave discuss when you’re together?

The state of the city. Movies. Television shows.

Speaking of film and television, Robocop is an acclaimed piece of American cinema. It’s received an eighty eight percent approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and its been compared to classics such as Fritz Lang’s Metropolis.

Eighty eight percent? What’s the address of this criminal organization known as Rotten Tomatoes? Justice must be served.

First of all, its a website. Secondly, your duty as a police officer is to uphold the law. Hurting innocent people doesn’t seem to abide by those guidelines. Can you explain yourself? 

I’m still half man, half machine.

Yeah, but you’re supposed to be all cop?

The poster says that.

What character do you want us to interview?

Tags: movies, sci fi, robocop, interviews, funniest, fake interviews

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About the Author
Anthony DeVito

Anthony DeVito is a NYC based comic. Originally from New Jersey, he was featured as one of the "New Faces" at the 2012 Montreal Just for Laughs Festival, recently taped a Gotham Comedy Live on AXS TV, performed at the 2013 Bridgetown Comedy Festival and 2013 SF Sketchfest, and is also the former host of "Say What?!" on the NOC TV. You can follow him on Twitter @anthonydevito_

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