Can’t Spit on Seagulls (Norfolk, Virginia)
For the record, it’s impossible to lob a throat oyster at a seagull; by the time you finish cultivating it the gull’s already flown away. Not to mention they’re way too fast. That being said, passing a law banning the aforementioned activity is meaningless. If Norfolk instead used its municipal muscle to draft a statue forbidding gulls from using our heads as makeshift toilets, on the other hand, now that’s something we’d mostly definitely stand behind!