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QUIZ: Which Slasher Villain Are You?

QUIZ: Which Slasher Villain Are You?

By Matt Heckler

Everyone loves a good slasher movie. Who doesn't love a bad guy with knifey fingers or machetes? While we sincerely hope that you’re not actually considering a career as a masked murderer, wouldn't it be cool to find out which psychopathic bloodletter you're most like? Just for funzies? Well, here’s a quiz to determine which slasher villain you are!

1. What is your preferred location for stalking and killing teenagers?
A. I am a big fan of camping. Let’s go camping!
B. I’m after one person in particular, but she always seems to be hangin’ in suburbia.
C. I wish they all could be dead California girls!
D. I’m a bit of a homebody and like to spend time on one particular street.
E. I’ve had a lot of luck with motels!

2. Describe your psychological reasons for being a slasher villain.
A. Severe mental disability manifesting in being a complete sociopath.
B. Really bad childhood leading to some issues with oppression.
C. Extreme narcissism and wanting to be famous. Oh, and peer pressure.
D. I like to punish the friends and family of those who’ve done me wrong.
E. Crazy mommy issues.

3. Do you have any hobbies aside from mass murder?
A. I’m definitely an outdoorsy type.
B. Spent too much time in a mental institution to develop any hobbies.
C. I love horror movies, ironically enough.
D. Metalworking
E. Taxidermy

4. Describe your fashion sense in one word.
A. Crappy
B. Jumpsuit
C. Black
D. Jaunty
E. Casual

5. Do you have any supernatural abilities?
A. I can hold my breath a really long time, and catch up with people who are running even though I’m walking slowly.
B. Bullets don’t really do much, as I always seem to survive despite not getting any medical attention.
C. Nope. That’s probably why I die more often than not.
D. I exist on another plane of existence.
E. Supernatural ability to dress in drag.

6. Describe your perfect partner.
A. Whoever’s left.
B. My sister. Yep.
C. The “it” girl at school.
D. Someone probably too young for me.
E. Anyone my mother approves of.

7. What is your greatest weakness?
A. I’m not a big fan of water.
B. I tend to vanish temporarily after being shot, but I always come back.
C. My gift of gab sometimes gets me into trouble.
D. Cockiness inspires resilience in my stronger prey.
E. Lack of confidence.

8. If your circumstances were different and you weren’t a crazed killer, what would you do?
A. Professional athlete
B. Costume shop owner
C. Movie critic
D. Janitor
E. Hotel manager

RESULTS

If you got Mostly A’s, you’re Jason Voorhees! You were supposed to have drowned long ago, but you came back from the dead when your mother was killed by a bunch of campers that she was picking off one by one. Apparently, you didn’t take too kindly to your mommy getting offed, even if she had it coming.

If you got Mostly B’s, you’re Michael Myers! After a rather unpleasant childhood, you spent the majority of your life in a mental institution. Even your shrink gave up on you, and you ended up breaking out and going on a killing spree while you went after your long lost sister. Take a chill pill, bro.

If you got Mostly C’s, you’re Ghostface! Whether you’re the abusive boyfriend, the angry mom, or any of the other incarnations of the Scream villain, you love some theatricality and generally are in the whole killing business just for a bit of fame. Couldn’t you have just gone into drama?!

If you got Mostly D’s, you’re Freddy Krueger! You committed atrocities and got off on a technicality. When the parents of your victims burned you to death, you came back in the dreams of the children to get revenge for your death.

If you got Mostly E’s, you’re Norman Bates! You’re a motel manager with serious mommy issues, who murders a woman in cold blood when you get confusing feelings about her. If mommy doesn’t approve, your victims better get away quickly!

Which one are you?

Tags: movies, horror, quizzes, friday the 13th, scary movies, freddy kruger

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About the Author
Matt Heckler

Matt Heckler is a writer, book critic, musician, movie nerd, sci-fi aficionado, and awesome beard haver from Chicago. When he isn't writing for The MindHut, he is drinking tasty beverages and working on his first novel. Follow him on Twitter @androiddreamer!

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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