Unicorn Meat is that novelty item that’s absolutely hilarious for nerdy adults, but shattering for children who already can’t distinguish the line between fantasy and reality. For all they know, the legendary creature truly has been ground up and left floating in artificially flavored gravy (the horn and its intrinsic healing properties callously thrown onto a pile). There’s no meat to be had, for the kiddies’ sake. Just a plush, dismembered unicorn. That’s not an improvement, but okay.