Nerds of the world rejoice! New York Comic Con—only the biggest pop culture event on the East Coast—is finally here! But with so many people from all walks of geekery attending the same convention at one time, suffice it to say it’s going to be a jungle out there. And like any ecosystem, it helps to be wary of one’s surroundings and steer clear of those who might rain on your good time. Look sharp, because here come the seven people to watch out for at New York Comic Con!
1) The Overzealous Security Guard
It’s a proven statistical fact that 99.9% of security guards were once schoolyard bullies (and police academy failures, but that’s a discussion for another time). So when NYCC rolls around, the pungent scent of so many nerds acts as a trigger, rekindling their deep-seated hatred. For four days they prowl the convention floor, eager to nail attendees for the most negligible infractions and kick them out to sate their appetite. Choose your actions carefully and you might survive till Sunday without making a scene.
2) (Bad) Deadpool Cosplayers
With his propensity for dishing out quips, referencing pop culture, and tearing down the fourth wall like it were splitting Berlin, it stands to reason that Marvel’s Deadpool makes for an excellent costume... except when everyone and their mother has the same idea. And sometimes these people enjoy going the extra mile by interacting with attendees. Is it all bad? No, some actually pull it off. Others, well, not so much. Word of advice: If a gaggle of Deadpools are walking your way, play it safe and turn right around before you end up the victim of an inescapable pantomime routine.
3) “Free Hugs” People
You’ve seen them before on the street, weirdos holding up cardboard signs offering a loving embrace totally on the house, no strings attached. But somehow they’ve managed to integrate their brand of non-sequitur hipster "humor" into geek culture, pervading and sullying what Comic Con is truly about. Obliging them only reinforces their belief that the joke is still fresh and ingenious (we're not saying that it ever was).
4) The Scalper
For collectors seeking to find that one must-have comic book, action figure, or what have you to complete their collection, NYCC is essentially eBay; search persistently enough and you’ll definitely find your holy grail. Sadly there are an unscrupulous sort who profit off this desperation, offering sought-after knickknacks at an insane markup. Sorry, but buying that mint condition Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure dinner tray isn’t worth the second mortgage... or an infuriated significant other.
5) That One Guy Who Brings an Actual Weapon
NYCC and common sense dictate that attendees do not, under any circumstances, carry replica weapons on their person during the event. Yeah, that Klingon bat’leth is ineffably awesome, but it can be devastating in the wrong hands (i.e. everyone walking the show floor). But security has only so many eyes, and under those billowy costumes, anybody can sneak in their piece from the Noble Collection. So give that Bilbo Baggins cosplayer wielding Sting a wide berth, yeah?
6) Original Character Cosplayer
While it’s always good to take pride in one’s creative work, there’s a limit on how far you should take it. Case in point: Individuals who dress up as an original character of their own design (and manage to get insulted when we don’t know who they’re supposed to be). Well excuse us for not recognizing the central villain from your Doctor Who/Sailor Moon crossover fan fiction!
7) The Creepy Otaku
Creepy otakus are the men and women that give normal anime fans a bad rap, dragging them down into the dark pits of social derision from which there is no escape. They’re pretty easy to spot in a crowd: Clutching their love pillows (tightly), scarfing down lethal amounts of Pocky, or dancing to J-pop in the parking lot. And do not strike up conversation with them to pass the time in line. Before you know it, you’ll be cornered in the bathroom as they discuss the minutiae of Bubblegum Crisis at great length.
Will you be attending New York Comic Con?