Search Menu



How to Plan The Worst Thanksgiving Imaginable



Serve Tofurkey

That eye-stinging maggot cheese and baby mice wine will be a cinch to keep down compared to the disgusting vegan alternative to turkey that is known as Tofurkey. This veggie protein loaf tastes nothing like turkey — at best it tastes like turkey ass. Your guests will hate you for a lifetime, but it will be worth it just to see the look on their face as they try to scarf it down.

Tags: holidays, slideshows, thanksgiving, bad ideas, worst holidays

Write your own comment!

About the Author
Vadim Newquist

Vadim Newquist is a writer, director, actor, animator, fire fighter, stunt driver, martial arts instructor, snake wrangler and time traveling bounty hunter who scales tall buildings with his bare hands and wrestles sharks in his spare time. He can do ten consecutive backflips in one jump, make cars explode with his mind, and can give fifty people a high-five at once without even lifting his hands. He holds multiple PhDs in nuclear physics, osteopathic medicine, behavioral psychology, breakdancing, and chilling out. He currently resides in Gotham City inside his stately mansion with his butler Alfred and his two cats.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email