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How to Plan The Worst Thanksgiving Imaginable

By Vadim Newquist Nov 25, 2013

3 of 16

Severely limit your entertainment options - Part 1

First off make sure the television in the living room is unplugged, and then sever your cable connection using wire-cutters. If your loved ones have anything remotely entertaining to distract themselves from the horrible time they should be having, then things won't be a total failure, and they have to be a total failure for this to be a success. Once the cable connection is severed, then pour applesauce into you DVD or BluRay player. This should short-circuit the machine and render it unusable. Good job!

Tags: holidays, slideshows, thanksgiving, bad ideas, worst holidays

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About the Author
Vadim Newquist

Vadim Newquist is a writer, director, actor, animator, fire fighter, stunt driver, martial arts instructor, snake wrangler and time traveling bounty hunter who scales tall buildings with his bare hands and wrestles sharks in his spare time. He can do ten consecutive backflips in one jump, make cars explode with his mind, and can give fifty people a high-five at once without even lifting his hands. He holds multiple PhDs in nuclear physics, osteopathic medicine, behavioral psychology, breakdancing, and chilling out. He currently resides in Gotham City inside his stately mansion with his butler Alfred and his two cats.

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