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How to Plan The Worst Thanksgiving Imaginable

By Vadim Newquist Nov 25, 2013

7 of 16

Invite convicted criminals and former mental patients with violent tendencies

If the goal is to have both you and your family fearing for their lives, then this step is crucial and simply can't be skipped. Put a flyer up at your local high security prison advertising a free meal, and if you're lucky, a few recently released hardened criminals will come your way. Better yet, put a Craigslist ad searching for former mental patients that avoided serving sentences for murder by reason of insanity. The conversation at the dinner table is guaranteed to be unforgettable!

Tags: holidays, slideshows, thanksgiving, bad ideas, worst holidays

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About the Author
Vadim Newquist

Vadim Newquist is a writer, director, actor, animator, fire fighter, stunt driver, martial arts instructor, snake wrangler and time traveling bounty hunter who scales tall buildings with his bare hands and wrestles sharks in his spare time. He can do ten consecutive backflips in one jump, make cars explode with his mind, and can give fifty people a high-five at once without even lifting his hands. He holds multiple PhDs in nuclear physics, osteopathic medicine, behavioral psychology, breakdancing, and chilling out. He currently resides in Gotham City inside his stately mansion with his butler Alfred and his two cats.

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