A Standardized Scale for How Hard You're Shipping a Character
For those who don’t know, "shipping" is basically when you like the idea of two fictional characters being together. Their connection could be platonic but is more often made romantic. Deciding to while away math class thinking about the possibilities (Beetee and Wiress! Tris and Four! Fubblegum!) represents a leap aboard the good ship relationSHIP—a voyage that ends in late nights spent devouring fanfiction and thinking of headcanons. Measuring the intensity of your "shipping" can get complicated, but the following scale will help rank your latest obsession from passing to all-consuming.
The most relaxed type of shipper, the Pool Floatie is chilling out. Maybe they’ve noticed a couple of characters that seem to have chemistry, but don’t really care about them beyond their potential as an interesting plotline.
This type of shipper is starting to get excited when two characters show up on screen together (Aragorn and Arwennnnnn). True shipping mania is but a twinkle in the eye.
Jet Ski shippers are the people who are picking up speed. They’ve begun to re-watch episodes that feature their ship together ("You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." Shiverrrrrrr) and regularly play around with name meshing.
Canoe shippers are often trying to paddle upstream. Try as they might they can feel themselves name dropping their ship with increasing frequency and reading fanfiction, even the terrible stories that only make microns of sense.
These people have started mentioning their ship as the greatest example of true love and have started picturing what their children would look like, and drawing out family portraits.
Houseboats are fully actualized shippers that are now searching for their fellow shipmates. Anytime you walk around in public or scroll through the Internet you search for the subtle signs or identifying phrases that scream that a person knows and loves the ship as much as you ("So, which brother do you think Elena belongs with? ... NOOOO! Damon 4EVA!!!!").
Like a Television evangelist, these shippers are now committed to getting everyone on board with their cause. It doesn’t matter if their friends haven’t seen the movie/TV show or read the book, they will know everything about the ship, even if they want to.
The passion these shippers feel is channeled into several creative outlets. They’ve most like written an 805,261 word fanfiction describing their ship’s epic love story, or are completing a series of intimate oil paintings ("Sherlock and Katniss in the park with George").
Air Craft Carrier
At this point the shipper’s room is a temple to your ship’s story. They’ve even bothered to make custom bedding in their ship’s honor. They have a Jess and Nick gif wall.
Back up crazy. These shippers have reached critical mass with their obsession. Any farther and they’d have a psychotic break. Currently they’re toeing a fine line in roping their S.O. into helping them embody the ship in mind, body and soul.
Where do you fall in the shipping spectrum? And WHO are you shipping?