10 Other Things To Do With a Paperweight Shaped Like Thorin's Key
With The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opening everywhere this weekend, we are in the throes of full throttle Middle-Earth mania. What better way to celebrate the dwarves' return to their sacred home in the mountain than a gigantic and awesome paperweight in the shape of Thorin's Key! This Thorin's Key Paperweight, exclusive to Barnes & Noble stores, is obviously great for holding down any loose maps you have floating around your office, but we've come up with some other more imaginative ways to use this awesome piece of Hobbit memorabilia.
- Create the new Olympic event, Dwarven Key Shot Put.
- Grab a two liter of soda and the key and shout "Someone shrunk me, and now my normal sized drink is to big, and my normal sized key is too heavy!"
- Strengthen your biceps with fifteen reps!
- Use it as a new standard of measurement for weight, for example "That bag of groceries weighs 2 1/2 Thorin's Key Paperweights."
- Balance it upright on your head and walk around pretending that you're a character in The Sims.
- Two words: GIANT DOOR.
- Put it on a velvet pillow and anytime someone comes over, offer it to your guest, saying "Oversized Dwarven Key, m'lord?"
- Wear it on a bike chain around your neck. No one will mess with you, EVER.
- Tie it to the biggest kite you can find and fly it during the next thunderstorm (JK DON'T DO THIS).
- Bake it into a birthday cake for your sweetheart and tell them that you've given them a key that's as big as their heart. Then apologize when they break their teeth biting into it.
What would YOU do with the Thorin's Key Paperweight?