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14 Countdown Alternatives To The NYE Ball Drop

14 Countdown Alternatives To The NYE Ball Drop

By Allison Emm

Oh, New Years Eve. Your romance, your glitz and glamour, your promise of a bright (and very sleepy) tomorrow. We love you so very much, but this whole dropping of the ball thing is getting kind of old. How many times do you honestly expect us to watch a big sparkly thing slowly sink? Really, let’s be honest here. It doesn’t so much drop as it does unenthusiastically sulk itself into the New Year to the chanting of a thousand freezing onlookers. You can only put so many fireworks around a glowing orb before we realize what’s actually taking place isn’t all that exciting. So, what is a bored NYE reveler to do? In order to keep things fresh, we propose this list of 14 alternatives to the ball drop countdown.

  1. Countdown to that inevitable moment when Daft Punk starts playing and everyone starts getting lucky.
  2. Count how many of your favorite Game of Thrones characters are still alive.
  3. How many times Grandpa Perilo gets up to go to the bathroom before the night is through.
  4. Countdown to the moment mom brings out all the naked baby pictures in the name of “Auld Lang Syne.”
  5. Count how many manipulative New Years themed weight loss ads air before midnight.
  6. Count how many Ryan Seacrest hating Twitter hashtags start trending.
  7. Count how many literary greats, philosophers, and scientists get memed up and misquoted to give you words of wisdom for the New Year. Pinterest, we’re looking at you.
  8. Count how many thinly veiled brag statuses appear on your Facebook Newsfeed, cleverly disguised as nostalgia. “I kissed the hottest girl in class, got into my dream school, invented a real life Time-Turner, and roundhouse kicked a dragon in the gut, all while looking EXACTLY like an Abercrombie & Fitch model. Gee, what a year! Also, I’m rich.”
  9. Countdown to the first Twerkdown of the night.
  10. Count how many books you said you were going to read this year…and didn’t.
  11. Start arbitrarily throwing around this years top cyber slang (Selfie, HMU, IMHO, and various disemvowelings), and count how many people actually know what you’re saying.
  12. Count how many times you have to tell yourself, “Self, you’re one sexy devil,” before you get up the nerve to kiss someone.
  13. Take bets, and then countdown to the first person falling asleep before midnight.
  14. When that ball finally does drop, go ahead and count how many awkward shots of couples you never want to see kissing actually get aired on television.

Farwell, 2013. We will miss you and all of your twerking, emoticoning, hackerspacing, BYODing, and the resulting digital detoxing.  You are forever in our hearts as one of years we all learned how petty, obnoxious, hilarious, and straight up weird pop culture can be. Lift your glasses filled to the brim with very non-alcoholic apple cider, and say, “Hey, nonny nonny!”

Tell us what other alternative countdowns you can come up with!

Tags: parties, holidays, new year's eve, lists, celebate

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About the Author
Allison Emm

Allison Emm is a writer, illustrator, and handmade soap enthusiast hailing from Boulder, CO. She is fond of bookish and ruggedly handsome mountain men, blue spruce trees, birds of prey, starships, and yarn. See more of her high jinks at www.AllisonEmm.com, and follow her on Twitter @Allison_Emm.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.