The Most Random Sci-fi Merch Tie-ins of all Time
It’s safe to say that a franchise is truly getting big when it starts producing tie-in merch. But there are some franchises so big that, no matter how much merch is produced, the fans still aren’t satisfied. That’s when you get some truly odd products. We found some of the weirdest.
Darth Vader Toaster
Well, if we’re going to start somewhere, it might as well be here. Although trying to choose an especially weird piece of Star Wars merch is like trying to choose an especially old person in Florida, we’ve decided to go with one that reflects a subject particularly close to our hearts: food! Behold: the Darth Vader toaster. This thing is specially designed so that it kinda sorta looks a bit like Darth Vader’s helmet and, what’s more, when you put the toast in, it’ll brand an image of ol’ Mr. Dark side right onto it! Yes, sure, you have to partially burn the toast for it to work, but it’s totally still worth it.
Who says merch has to be for kids? Not the makers behind this stuff, that’s for sure. For those who like a tipple but want to stay true to their inner-dork: Vulcan Beer. It’s a slightly strange choice—you’d assume the Vulcans wouldn’t be particularly big drinkers what with the whole super-logical-mindset thing. Still, can’t fault the studio for their creativity. Is it a quality brew? Well, we haven’t tried it, but according to the box, it’s "Mind Melding Good." That’s right, it’s so tasty it will literally fuse your brain to someone else’s. Yum!
So, what’s the most inappropriate combination of franchises that you can think of? Harry Potter and Predator? The Powerpuff Girls and Constantine? My Little Pony and Spawn? Okay, maybe not that inappropriate, but still pretty weird. Meet The Eleventh Doctor Mr. Potato Head. All we can think about is the marketing meeting that spawned this monstrosity. "I’m kinda bored. What would literally be the strangest decision we could make right now?"
The Jar Jar Binks Candy Tongue
Sooo, this one wins the award for being the most disturbing tie-in product of all time. Take a gander at this image and tell us: how does it make you feel? Slightly icky? A teeny bit upset? Yeah, us too. Jar Jar wasn’t exactly a popular character to begin with. But this? This? It’s like a weird piece of art. We’re half inclined to think it was designed as a way of testing the outer limits of what they could actually get away with. "Yep, it’s selling. Seriously! So what next? Boba Fett shower curtains? Okay, get makin’ ‘em!"
Alien High Heels
Nothing says glamor like a vicious, flesh eating humanoid, right? Right! Well, apparently that was the thinking behind this high heel design, which is based on the Xenomorphs from the Alien movies. Alright, technically they aren’t really merch—they were a one off design by Alexander McQueen and probably cost more than most people could ever hope to afford anyway. But they had to make it in just for being so hilariously weird looking. No word on whether the heel opens up to reveal a smaller shoe inside that tries to bite you, but we’re choosing to believe that’s the case.
What's your favorite piece of sci fi merch?