If Old Video Games Where Released Today
Do you think old video games were the best video games? Are you bummed that classics you grew up playing don’t work on new technology? Well worry no longer! Here at Mindhut’s video game publishing offices, we’re working on bringing the basics back to life with modern software!
Are you excited? You better be.
Do you think remakes are lazy and uncreative? Get lost!
If you aren’t totally onboard yet, keep reading for a rundown of games to be released this fall (and inevitably delayed till spring)!
Frogger 2 Again: Blood In The Streets
“This Frog ain’t no Lilly pad!”
The classic amphibian is back in action! He is older, wiser, and MUCH more aggressive. The new Frogger doesn’t frog around… He frogs people up! Instead of running, this raging reptile brings traffic to a halt and hi-jacks cars for himself.
Players can use a variety of vehicles to cross that dreaded highway, including: motorcycles, minivans, mopeds, mechanical dinosaurs and a helicopter! But watch out for landmines! Every time Frogger is splattered, blood and guts practically shoot offscreen into your living room. Graphics are so detailed, you can tell his blood type. It will be messier and more retro than a Gallagher show!
Also coming out next summer: Frogger 3D: Frog of Duty
Oregon Trail of Terrors
Let’s forget that old boring story of American perseverance and focus on what really matters… GUNS! The revamped Oregon Trail focuses solely on everyone’s favorite feature: the hunt. The game is now 99% shooting buffalo and only 1% dull pioneer life. Does that mean that we forgot about all the other game elements? Nope. We just made them more AWESOME!
How we made them awesome:
When natives attack the wagon… you shoot them!
When pops passes away from dysentery… you shoot him!
When pops zombie comes back to life… you shoot him!
When you need to cross a river… you shoot the river!
It’s an American classic!
SpryRim (Spyro meets Skyrim)
Rated G for Gnarly
Spryo is entering adulthood in Skyrim and he is ANGSTY. All these warriors keep trying to slay Spyro when all the dude wants is to shred. Help the 14-year-old dragon escape to the skate park and pull off some sick tricks while collecting gems and awkwardly flirting with lady dragons.
His family was murdered by ghosts and now he seeks vengeance. That’s right… The yellow semicircle is fully red in the face! This newest anger-management frequenting reincarnation of Pacman has nothing left to lose. He’s destroying all obstacles along his path to revenge.
The memory of Miss Pacman fuels some of the most intense training montages you’ve ever seen in videogame cut scenes.
But they are all necessary as you direct pacman through cardio and agility exercises until he is ready for the ultimate showdown power-up of a lifetime!
What games do you want remade?