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Household Items That Will Prepare You For the Zombie Apocalypse

Household Items That Will Prepare You For the Zombie Apocalypse

By Tim Butcher

Just because there haven’t been any good zombie movies out in the last few months doesn’t mean you can start to get lazy. As any self-respecting nerd knows, you should always be making preparations for the zombie apocalypse. It could be something as simple as knowing the first place you’d head once society started to crumble–or as elaborate as constructing an armored sixteen wheel survival truck in the abandoned factory near your house. The point is: you should always be getting ready for Z-day. To keep you sharp, here’s a list of commonly available household items that are going to stand you in good stead when the dead come a-knockin’.

Baseball Bat

Okay, let’s start basic. A blunt object: have you got one to hand? If there was one thing that Shaun of the Dead taught us it’s that a weapon doesn’t need to glamorous to be effective (also that pubs are surprisingly effective safe-houses when it comes to avoiding the undead). If you can’t get your hands on a baseball bat (or, if you're in England, a cricket bat), then a nice, heavy two-by-four'll do. Remember to practice your swing! Follow through with the shoulders. Those suckers won't stand a chance!

Improvised Shield

“The best defense is a good offense.” That’s what people say. Well, do you know what else is a good defense? A shield. You can pretty much improvise one out of most study household materials–as long as you find something that’s suitably lightweight. Our personal favorite is the trash can lid—it’s tough, easily wieldable and they’re everywhere! Once you’ve got one, you’ll find it invaluable in protecting yourself against grabby arms and gnashing teeth. Combine with the baseball bat for maximum combat capability (and also you’ll get to feel a little bit like a medieval knight).

Rope

As with any survival situation, it’s often the most basic equipment that’s going to prove the most invaluable. Rope is great as an emergency escape measure—just set up a line the ascends the nearest tall building and lookee! You’ve got yourself an express elevator to safety. What’s more, this stuff is going to be invaluable if you want to snag yourself a couple of pet zombies—either as a kind of bitey security system or, you know, for experiments. After all, you’ll need to get researching a cure!

RC Car and Radio Combo

It’s going to take more than brute strength to stay alive during the z-apocalypse. You’re going to need cunning, too. Hence neat little tricks like this one. Pop a standard short-wave on the back of a toy vehicle, crank up the sound and, hey-presto, you’re go yourself your very own bespoke zombie-distractor. Use it if you’re in a tight spot and need to lure a group of biters away from your position. Note: it’s highly inadvisable to try to retrieve the car afterwards.

Walkie Talkie

Chances are, unless you’ve got a heart made of stone, you’re not going to want to live out the post-apocalypse all by yourself. No man is an island—and besides, there’s safety in numbers (especially if your companions can't run as fast as you). Get your hands on a custom-frequency walkie-talkie, set up a message on repeat that tells people where they can find you and wait for the friend train to come a-rollin’ in! One quick note though–you do need to be prepared for the very real possibility that your message won’t attract just well-wishers, but also marauding road-pirates, keen to intercept your position so they can plunder your supplies and very possibly use you as zombie bait. Have a few booby traps ready just in case.

What kind of food would you stash away to munch on during the z-pocalypse?

Tags: zombies, apocalypse, lists, survival, geek style

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