Sarah needs help with her application essay. Read it over and leave your suggestions in the comments!
I'm writing for the "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you" prompt.
I have exactly 500 words (I hope!) and I feel like it's kind of crappy, just because I did it in two hours. Hopefully you can help my squelch it down!
Lillian Luterman and Jennifer Bloom (they're a mother-daughter team!) have been helping kids apply to college for 20 years, and now they've published a book called In! College Admissions and Beyond (check out the FB page here), which argues something
Sparkler Frankie is a talented writer with strong opinions. Check out the essay he's planning to submit to colleges.
Prompt: In our history various people have taken stands against injustice, often at great personal risk. Have you ever taken a stand against something you considered unjust—or if you haven't, do you have an idea of what it might take for you to take such a stand? Please explain.
Ever since I learned of abortion and what it is, I knew it was wrong. I felt and still feel that taking the lives of innocent babies is wrong. I am ashamed to say that I haven’t done much about it. I wish that I could write this essay and say that I’ve changed the world and that everyone agrees and that all things wrong have been eliminated, but I can’t do that. However, I can do something now.
Laurais working on a college application essay about terror, tarnished reputations, and fifth grade. Check it out!
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
The Anthem of My Elementary Years
All my life I’d prepared for it; from mindlessly completing writing drills, to leading my wagon train through the perilous Oregon Trail simulation. It all culminated in one moment: fifth grade graduation. I wasn’t anticipating the caps fabricated out of gray construction paper, nor was I awaiting the presentation of the coveted Presidential Award. Not being a superstar athlete, or the class clown, I was looking forward to having the spotlight for once. Upon the last day of elementary school, I grasped the microphone in my sweaty hands, with my pulse quickening as I drew in each strained breath. I began, voice wailing, “Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?” I gasped for a quick breath to continue the melody and then… silence.
If this whole Miss Marm thing falls through, I'm going to start a new career as a college admissions officer. It's so fun to read intensely personal essays, like this one by Stefanie.
Dad's the One She Loves the Most
My mom lifted me out of the backseat of the car. She made sure to cover the crown of my head with her hand so that I would not hit it on the outline of the door. She placed me on the ground and asked me, “You aren’t going to cry when I leave right?” I was three years old and always cried when she left. “No mommy I won’t cry.” I promised her. She stepped into the sunlight, and it made her look like an angel the way the rays of sun hugged her tight. I turned and saw my dad waving at us from the living room window. “Hi daddy!” I yelled. My mom retrieved my overnight bag from the trunk of the car and my dad joined us in the driveway. I ran and hugged him around the hips. “Hey baby.” He said to me. My mom bent down and engulfed me in the sea of her arms. “I love you Stefanie.” She said. “I love you too mommy.” She walked back to the car and got in. As I held my dad’s hand, I watched her drive right out of my life. That was 1997 and it is now 2010.
Judging by my inbox, you guys are working hard on your college application essays and personal statements. Let's make the grueling process more fun by reading each other's work and judging it in the comments! Here's how it will