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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

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He was the WORST I ever struck. Well, the iron-jawed man he laughed right in his face. Everybody was shocked. Everybody says, “Why, DOCTOR!” and Abner Shackleford says: He was the WORST sort that I ever saw. The iron-jawed man just laughed right in his face. Everyone was shocked, and said, “DOCTOR!” Abner Shackleford said:
“Why, Robinson, hain’t you heard the news? This is Harvey Wilks.” “Why, Dr. Robinson, haven’t you heard the news? This is Harvey Wilks.”
The king he smiled eager, and shoved out his flapper, and says: The king smiled eagerly, shoved out his hand, and said:
“Is it my poor brother’s dear good friend and physician? I—” “Is it my poor brother’s dear good friend and physician? I….”
“Keep your hands off of me!” says the doctor. “YOU talk like an Englishman, DON’T you? It’s the worst imitation I ever heard. YOU Peter Wilks’s brother! You’re a fraud, that’s what you are!” “Keep your hands off me!” said the doctor. “YOU sure talk like an Englishman, don’t you? Why, that’s the worst imitation of an English accent I’ve ever heard. YOU Peter Wilks’s brother! Ha! You’re a fraud, that’s what you are!”
Well, how they all took on! They crowded around the doctor and tried to quiet him down, and tried to explain to him and tell him how Harvey ’d showed in forty ways that he WAS Harvey, and knowed everybody by name, and the names of the very dogs, and begged and BEGGED him not to hurt Harvey’s feelings and the poor girl’s feelings, and all that. But it warn’t no use; he stormed right along, and said any man that pretended to be an Englishman and couldn’t imitate the lingo no better than what he did was a fraud and a liar. The poor girls was hanging to the king and crying; and all of a sudden the doctor ups and turns on THEM. He says: The crowd sure reacted to that! Everyone crowded around the doctor and tried to quiet him down and explain to him how Harvey had proved in about forty different ways that he WAS Harvey. They said he knew everyone by name, even the names of the dogs, and they begged and BEGGED the doctor not to hurt Harvey’s feelings or those of the poor girls and on and on. But it wasn’t any use. The doctor continued raging, saying that any man who pretended to be an Englishman but couldn’t imitate the language any better than that had to be a fraud and a liar. The poor girls were hanging on to the king and crying. The doctor turned to THEM suddenly and said:
“I was your father’s friend, and I’m your friend; and I warn you as a friend, and an honest one that wants to protect you and keep you out of harm and trouble, to turn your backs on that scoundrel and have nothing to do with him, the ignorant tramp, with his idiotic Greek and Hebrew, as he calls it. He is the thinnest kind of an impostor—has come here with a lot of empty names and facts which he picked up somewheres, and you take them for PROOFS, and are helped to fool yourselves by these foolish friends here, who ought to know better. Mary Jane Wilks, you know me for your friend, and for your unselfish friend, too. Now listen to me; turn this pitiful rascal out—I BEG you to do it. Will you?” “I was your father’s friend, and I’m your friend. And I warn you as a friend—as an honest friend that wants to protect you and keep you away from harm and out of trouble—to turn your backs on that scoundrel and having nothing to do with him, that ignorant tramp with his fake Greek and Hebrew, as he calls it. He’s the weakest kind of imposter there is. He’s come here with a lot of names and empty facts that he’s picked up somewhere, yet you take them for PROOF and help him fool you with the help of all your foolish friends here. You ought to know better. Mary Jane Wilks, you know that I’m your friend and an unselfish one at that. Now listen to me—throw this rascal out. I BEG you to do it. Will you?”
Mary Jane straightened herself up, and my, but she was handsome! She says: Mary Jane straightened herself up. My, she was pretty! She said:
“HERE is my answer.” She hove up the bag of money and put it in the king’s hands, and says, “Take this six thousand dollars, and invest for me and my sisters any way you want to, and don’t give us no receipt for it.” “HERE is my answer.” And with that she shoved the bag of money back into the king’s hands and said, “Take this six thousand dollars, and invest it for me and my sisters any way you like. You don’t even need to give us a receipt for it.”
Then she put her arm around the king on one side, and Susan and the hare-lip done the same on the other. Everybody clapped their hands and stomped on the floor like a perfect storm, whilst the king held up his head and smiled proud. The doctor says: Then she put her arm around one side of the king, and Susan and the harelipped girl did the same on the other. Everyone clapped their hands and stomped on the floor, which made a roaring sound of thunder. The king, meanwhile, held up his head and smiled proudly. The doctor said:
“All right; I wash MY hands of the matter. But I warn you all that a time ’s coming when you’re going to feel sick whenever you think of this day.” And away he went. “All right. I wash MY hands of this matter. But I warn you all that there’s going to come a time when you’re going to feel sick every time you remember this day.” Then he left.
“All right, doctor,” says the king, kinder mocking him; “we’ll try and get ’em to send for you;” which made them all laugh, and they said it was a prime good hit. “All right, doctor,” said the king, kind of mocking him. “We’ll try and get them to send for you,” which made everyone laugh. They said he got him good.

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