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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

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Then Susan SHE waltzed in; and if you’ll believe me, she did give Hare-lip hark from the tomb! Then Susan chimed in and gave Harelip a chewing out that would raise the dead, if you can believe it.
Says I to myself, and this is ANOTHER one that I’m letting him rob her of her money! So I thought to myself, this is ANOTHER girl that I’m letting him rob!
Then Mary Jane she took another inning, and went in sweet and lovely again—which was her way; but when she got done there warn’t hardly anything left o’ poor Hare-lip. So she hollered. Then Mary Jane started in again, though sweetly and lovingly this time, which was just her way. When she finished, there was hardly anything left of poor Harelip, who’d started crying.
“All right, then,” says the other girls; “you just ask his pardon.” “All right, then,” said Mary Jane and Susan. “Just ask him for forgiveness.”
She done it, too; and she done it beautiful. She done it so beautiful it was good to hear; and I wished I could tell her a thousand lies, so she could do it again. She did so, and she did it beautifully. It was really nice to hear. I wish I could tell her a thousand lies so that she could apologize again.
I says to myself, this is ANOTHER one that I’m letting him rob her of her money. And when she got through they all jest laid theirselves out to make me feel at home and know I was amongst friends. I felt so ornery and low down and mean that I says to myself, my mind’s made up; I’ll hive that money for them or bust. I said to myself again, this is ANOTHER one that I’m letting him rob. And when she finished apologizing, all three girls relaxed to make me feel comfortable and let me know that I was among friends. I felt so awful and low and miserable that I made up my mind to steal that money back for them or go down trying.
So then I lit out—for bed, I said, meaning some time or another. When I got by myself I went to thinking the thing over. I says to myself, shall I go to that doctor, private, and blow on these frauds? No—that won’t do. He might tell who told him; then the king and the duke would make it warm for me. Shall I go, private, and tell Mary Jane? No—I dasn’t do it. Her face would give them a hint, sure; they’ve got the money, and they’d slide right out and get away with it. If she was to fetch in help I’d get mixed up in the business before it was done with, I judge. No; there ain’t no good way but one. I got to steal that money, somehow; and I got to steal it some way that they won’t suspicion that I done it. They’ve got a good thing here, and they ain’t a-going to leave till they’ve played this family and this town for all they’re worth, so I’ll find a chance time enough. I’ll steal it and hide it; and by and by, when I’m away down the river, I’ll write a letter and tell Mary Jane where it’s hid. But I better hive it tonight if I can, because the doctor maybe hasn’t let up as much as he lets on he has; he might scare them out of here yet. So I headed off. I said I was going to bed, meaning I would be going to bed eventually. When I was alone, I started thinking things over. I asked myself if I should go see the doctor privately and tell on these frauds. No, that wouldn’t do. He might reveal who told him, and then the king and duke would come after me. Shall I go and tell Mary Jane in private? No—it would be too risky to do it. Her face would surely give her away. They had the money, and they’d just skip out and run off with it. And, if she were to send for help, I’d get mixed up in the whole business before it was done with, that’s for sure. No, there was only one way to resolve this. I had to steal that money somehow. I had to steal it in a way that wouldn’t bring suspicion upon myself. I knew I had time to do it, too, since the king and the duke had a good thing going here, and they weren’t about to leave til they’d played this family and this town for all they were worth. I would steal it and hide it and, after I’d made my way down the river, I’d write a letter and tell Mary Jane where it was hidden. But I figured I should steal it that night, if I could, because the doctor hadn’t given up as he had let on. He might scare the king and the duke out of town.
So, thinks I, I’ll go and search them rooms. Upstairs the hall was dark, but I found the duke’s room, and started to paw around it with my hands; but I recollected it wouldn’t be much like the king to let anybody else take care of that money but his own self; so then I went to his room and begun to paw around there. But I see I couldn’t do nothing without a candle, and I dasn’t light one, of course. So I judged I’d got to do the other thing—lay for them and eavesdrop. About that time I hears their footsteps coming, and was going to skip under the bed; I reached for it, but it wasn’t where I thought it would be; but I touched the curtain that hid Mary Jane’s frocks, so I jumped in behind that and snuggled in amongst the gowns, and stood there perfectly still. So, I thought to myself, I’ll go and search those rooms. The hall upstairs was dark, but I found the duke’s room and started groping around in there with with my hands. Then I figured that it wasn’t the king’s style to let anyone else take care of that money. So I went to his room and began to poke around in there. I couldn’t see anything without a candle, though, and it was definitely too risky to light one. I settled for another option—wait for them to show up and eavesdrop. Just then I heard their footsteps. I was going to slide under the bed, but when I reached out for it, I found it wasn’t where I thought it would be. Instead, I touched the curtain that hid Mary Jane’s frocks, so I jumped behind it, snuggled in amongst the gowns, and stood perfectly still.
They come in and shut the door; and the first thing the duke done was to get down and look under the bed. Then I was glad I hadn’t found the bed when I wanted it. And yet, you know, it’s kind of natural to hide under the bed when you are up to anything private. They sets down then, and the king says: They came in and shut the door. The first thing the duke did was to get down on the floor and look under the bed, which made me glad I hadn’t found the bed when I wanted it. Then again, it’s kind of natural to hide under the bed when you’re trying to hide. They sat down, and the king said:
“Well, what is it? And cut it middlin’ short, because it’s better for us to be down there a-whoopin’ up the mournin’ than up here givin’ ’em a chance to talk us over.” “Well, what is it? Keep this pretty short, because it’s better for us to be down there crying and mourning, rather than up here giving them a chance to talk about us.”
“Well, this is it, Capet. I ain’t easy; I ain’t comfortable. That doctor lays on my mind. I wanted to know your plans. I’ve got a notion, and I think it’s a sound one.” “Well, here it is, Capet. It isn’t easy—I’m not comfortable. I’ve been thinking about that doctor. I want to know what your plan is. I’ve got an idea myself, and I think it’s a solid one.”
“What is it, duke?” “What’s your idea, duke?”

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