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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

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The doctor he started to say something, and turns and says: The doctor started to say something, then turned and said:
“If you’d been in town at first, Levi Bell—” The king broke in and reached out his hand, and says: “If you’d been in town earlier, Levi Bell….” The king interrupted then, reached out his hand, and said:
“Why, is this my poor dead brother’s old friend that he’s wrote so often about?” “Why, is this my poor dead brother’s old friend? The one we wrote so often about?”
The lawyer and him shook hands, and the lawyer smiled and looked pleased, and they talked right along awhile, and then got to one side and talked low; and at last the lawyer speaks up and says: He and the lawyer shook hands, and the lawyer smiled and looked pleased. They talked for a little bit, then stepped to one side and spoke in lower tones until at last the lawyer spoke up and said:
“That ’ll fix it. I’ll take the order and send it, along with your brother’s, and then they’ll know it’s all right.” “That’ll do. I’ll take the order and send it along with your brother’s, and they’ll know it’s all right.”
So they got some paper and a pen, and the king he set down and twisted his head to one side, and chawed his tongue, and scrawled off something; and then they give the pen to the duke—and then for the first time the duke looked sick. But he took the pen and wrote. So then the lawyer turns to the new old gentleman and says: So they got some paper and a pen, and the king sat down and turned his head to one side. He chewed on his tongue and scribbled something. Then they gave the pen to the duke—and for the first time, the duke looked sick. But he took the pen and wrote something too. Then the lawyer turned to the other pair of gentlemen and said:
“You and your brother please write a line or two and sign your names.” “If you and your brother would please write a sentence or two and then sign you names.”
The old gentleman wrote, but nobody couldn’t read it. The lawyer looked powerful astonished, and says: The old gentleman wrote, but no one could read it. The lawyer looked really astonished and said:
“Well, it beats ME"—and snaked a lot of old letters out of his pocket, and examined them, and then examined the old man’s writing, and then THEM again; and then says: “These old letters is from Harvey Wilks; and here’s THESE two handwritings, and anybody can see they didn’t write them” (the king and the duke looked sold and foolish, I tell you, to see how the lawyer had took them in), “and here’s THIS old gentleman’s hand writing, and anybody can tell, easy enough, HE didn’t write them—fact is, the scratches he makes ain’t properly WRITING at all. Now, here’s some letters from—” “Well I’ll be darned. He pulled a lot of old letters out of his pocket, examined them, and then examined the old man’s writing. Then he looked at the letters again before saying, “These old letters are from Harvey Wilks. And here are THESE two samples of handwriting. Anyone can see that they didn’t write them,” he said pointing at the king and duke, who looked crestfallen that the lawyer had fooled them. “And here’s THIS old gentleman’s handwriting, and anyone can easily tell that HE didn’t write them either. In fact, the scratches he made on the paper aren’t even WRITING at all! Now, here are some letters from….”
The new old gentleman says: The new old gentleman said:
“If you please, let me explain. Nobody can read my hand but my brother there—so he copies for me. It’s HIS hand you’ve got there, not mine.” “If you please, let me explain. No one can read my handwriting except for my brother here, so he copies for me. It’s HIS handwriting you’ve got in those letters, not mine.”
“WELL!” says the lawyer, “this IS a state of things. I’ve got some of William’s letters, too; so if you’ll get him to write a line or so we can com—” “Well then!” said the lawyer. “This IS a strange situation. I’ve got some of William’s letter’s too, so if you’ll get him to write a sentence or two, then we can com—“
“He CAN’T write with his left hand,” says the old gentleman. “If he could use his right hand, you would see that he wrote his own letters and mine too. Look at both, please—they’re by the same hand.” “He CAN’T write with his left hand,” said the old gentleman. “If he could use his right hand, you would see that he wrote his own letters and mine, too. Look at both, please—they were written by the same person.”
The lawyer done it, and says: The lawyer did so, then said:
“I believe it’s so—and if it ain’t so, there’s a heap stronger resemblance than I’d noticed before, anyway. Well, well, well! I thought we was right on the track of a solution, but it’s gone to grass, partly. But anyway, one thing is proved—THESE two ain’t either of ’em Wilkses"—and he wagged his head towards the king and the duke. “I believe you’re right—and if not, then there’s a much stronger resemblance in the handwriting of the two letters than I noticed before. Well, well, well! I thought we were on the right track and headed toward a solution, but I guess not. But I guess we proved one thing—that THESE two aren’t the Wilks brothers,” he said, nodding his head toward the king and duke.
Well, what do you think? That muleheaded old fool wouldn’t give in THEN! Indeed he wouldn’t. Said it warn’t no fair test. Said his brother William was the cussedest joker in the world, and hadn’t tried to write—HE see William was going to play one of his jokes the minute he put the pen to paper. And so he warmed up and went warbling right along till he was actuly beginning to believe what he was saying HIMSELF; but pretty soon the new gentleman broke in, and says: And what do you think happened then? The mule-headed old fool wouldn’t give up, even THEN! No, he wouldn’t. He said it hadn’t been a fair test. He said is brother William was the worst prankster in the world and hadn’t been trying to write hard enough. He said he saw William was about to play one of his jokes the minute he put the pen to the paper. The king got warmed up and started jabbering along until it was clear he was actually beginning to believe what he was saying. But pretty soon the new gentleman interrupted and said:
“I’ve thought of something. Is there anybody here that helped to lay out my br—helped to lay out the late Peter Wilks for burying?” “I’ve just thought of something. Is there anyone here who helped to prepare my brother’s body? Who helped prepare the late Peter Wilks for burial?”
“Yes,” says somebody, “me and Ab Turner done it. We’re both here.” “Yes,” said someone. “Ab Turner and I did. We’re both here.”
Then the old man turns towards the king, and says: Then the old man turned toward the king and said:
“Perhaps this gentleman can tell me what was tattooed on his breast?” “Perhaps this gentleman can tell me what was tattooed on his chest.”
Blamed if the king didn’t have to brace up mighty quick, or he’d a squshed down like a bluff bank that the river has cut under, it took him so sudden; and, mind you, it was a thing that was calculated to make most ANYBODY sqush to get fetched such a solid one as that without any notice, because how was HE going to know what was tattooed on the man? He whitened a little; he couldn’t help it; and it was mighty still in there, and everybody bending a little forwards and gazing at him. Says I to myself, NOW he’ll throw up the sponge—there ain’t no more use. Well, did he? A body can’t hardly believe it, but he didn’t. I reckon he thought he’d keep the thing up till he tired them people out, so they’d thin out, and him and the duke could break loose and get away. Anyway, he set there, and pretty soon he begun to smile, and says: This suprised the king so much that he had to brace himself quickly to keep from collapsing like a riverbank that’s been eroded by the water. Mind you, it was the kind of sudden comment MEANT to surprise you and knock you down. How was HE going to know what was tattooed on the guy? The king’s face went white a little—he couldn’t help it. The room was very still, and everyone leaned forward a little bit waiting for his reply. NOW he’s going to throw in the towel, I thought to myself—there wasn’t any use trying anymore. I bet he thought he’d keep quiet until everyone got tired and left. Then that he and the duke could break loose and get away. He just sat there, but pretty soon started smiling and said:

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