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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

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WHEN they got aboard the king went for me, and shook me by the collar, and says: The king came after me as soon as they got on board. He shook me by the collar and said:
“Tryin’ to give us the slip, was ye, you pup! Tired of our company, hey?” “Trying to run away from us, were you, kid? Tired of our company, huh?”
I says: I said:
“No, your majesty, we warn’t—PLEASE don’t, your majesty!” “No, your majesty, we weren’t. Please don’t, your majesty!”
“Quick, then, and tell us what WAS your idea, or I’ll shake the insides out o’ you!” “Well then tell us what you were trying to do, or I’ll shake you inside out!”
“Honest, I’ll tell you everything just as it happened, your majesty. The man that had a-holt of me was very good to me, and kept saying he had a boy about as big as me that died last year, and he was sorry to see a boy in such a dangerous fix; and when they was all took by surprise by finding the gold, and made a rush for the coffin, he lets go of me and whispers, ’Heel it now, or they’ll hang ye, sure!’ and I lit out. It didn’t seem no good for ME to stay—I couldn’t do nothing, and I didn’t want to be hung if I could get away. So I never stopped running till I found the canoe; and when I got here I told Jim to hurry, or they’d catch me and hang me yet, and said I was afeard you and the duke wasn’t alive now, and I was awful sorry, and so was Jim, and was awful glad when we see you coming; you may ask Jim if I didn’t.” “I swear I’ll tell you everything just like it happened, your majesty. The man that had hold of me was very nice to me, and he kept saying he had a boy about my size who died last year. He was sorry to see another boy in such a dangerous situation. When they were all distracted and rushed toward the coffin after finding the gold, he let go of me and whispered, ‘Run now, or they’ll hang you for sure!’ So I took off. It didn’t seem like it would do me any good to stay—I couldn’t do anything and I didn’t want to be hanged if I could escape. So I ran and didn’t stop running until I found the canoe. When I got here, I told Jim to hurry or else I’d be caught and hanged. I said that I was afraid you and the duke were dead. I was awfully sorry and so was Jim, and we were awfully glad to see that you were coming. You can ask Jim if it’s true.”
Jim said it was so; and the king told him to shut up, and said, “Oh, yes, it’s MIGHTY likely!” and shook me up again, and said he reckoned he’d drownd me. But the duke says: Jim said it was true. The king told him to shut up, then said: “Oh sure, THAT’S a likely story!” He shook me again and said he should go ahead and drown me. But the duke said:
“Leggo the boy, you old idiot! Would YOU a done any different? Did you inquire around for HIM when you got loose? I don’t remember it.” “Let go of the boy, you old idiot. Would YOU have done any different? Did you ask around for HIM when you escaped? I don’t remember you doing so.”
So the king let go of me, and begun to cuss that town and everybody in it. But the duke says: So the king let go of me and began to swear at that town and everyone in it. But the duke said:
“You better a blame’ sight give YOURSELF a good cussing, for you’re the one that’s entitled to it most. You hain’t done a thing from the start that had any sense in it, except coming out so cool and cheeky with that imaginary blue-arrow mark. That WAS bright—it was right down bully; and it was the thing that saved us. For if it hadn’t been for that they’d a jailed us till them Englishmen’s baggage come—and then—the penitentiary, you bet! But that trick took ’em to the graveyard, and the gold done us a still bigger kindness; for if the excited fools hadn’t let go all holts and made that rush to get a look we’d a slept in our cravats to-night—cravats warranted to WEAR, too—longer than WE’D need ’em.” “You better swear at yourself too, because you’re the one that deserves the most blame. Since the beginning, you haven’t done one sensible thing, except for coming up with that slick imaginary blue arrow mark. That WAS smart—it was pretty great, actually, and was the thing that saved us. If it hadn’t been for that, they would have put us in jail until that Englishman’s bags arrived. And then they would have put us in the penitentiary for sure! Your little trick sent them to the graveyard, though, and the gold helped us out even more. If those excited fools hadn’t let go of us and rushed to get a look, we would have been sleeping in our neckties tonight, and we would be wearing them much longer than we’d ever need to.”
They was still a minute—thinking; then the king says, kind of absent-minded like: They stood there a minute thinking. Then the king absent-mindedly said:
“Mf! And we reckoned the NIGGERS stole it!” “Huh! And we thought the N------ had stolen it!”
That made me squirm! That made me squirm!
“Yes,” says the duke, kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic, “WE did.” “Yes,” said the duke, in a slow, deliberate, and sarcastic manner. “WE did.”
After about a half a minute the king drawls out: About half a minute later the king drawled:
“Leastways, I did.” “At least, I thought they did.”
The duke says, the same way: In the same tone, the duke said:
“On the contrary, I did.” “Oh, I did.”
The king kind of ruffles up, and says: The king ruffled up a bit and said:
“Looky here, Bilgewater, what’r you referrin’ to?” “Look here, Bilgewater. What’re you getting at?”
The duke says, pretty brisk: The duke said briskly:
“When it comes to that, maybe you’ll let me ask, what was YOU referring to?” “If you’re going to put it that way, let me ask you: What were YOU getting at?”
“Shucks!” says the king, very sarcastic; “but I don’t know—maybe you was asleep, and didn’t know what you was about.” “Geez,” said the king, very sarcastically. “I don’t know—maybe you were asleep and didn’t know what was going on.”
The duke bristles up now, and says: The duke bristled and said:
“Oh, let UP on this cussed nonsense; do you take me for a blame’ fool? Don’t you reckon I know who hid that money in that coffin?” “Will you forget about all this nonsense? Do you think I’m an idiot? Don’t you think I know who hid that money in the coffin?”
“YES, sir! I know you DO know, because you done it yourself!” “YES, sir! I know you DO know, because you did it yourself!”
“It’s a lie!"—and the duke went for him. The king sings out: “Liar!” the duke said as he lunged for the king. The king cried:
“Take y’r hands off!—leggo my throat!—I take it all back!” “Take your hands off me! Let go of my throat! I take it all back!”
The duke says: The duke said:
“Well, you just own up, first, that you DID hide that money there, intending to give me the slip one of these days, and come back and dig it up, and have it all to yourself.” “Well, just admit that you DID hide that money in the coffin with the intention of leaving me one of these days and coming back to dig it up and keep to yourself.”
“Wait jest a minute, duke—answer me this one question, honest and fair; if you didn’t put the money there, say it, and I’ll b’lieve you, and take back everything I said.” “Wait just a minute, duke. Answer this one question honestly for me. If you didn’t put the money there, then just say it. I’ll believe you and take back everything I said.”

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