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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

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So I done it. But not feeling brash. So I did. But not feeling very sure of myself.
Aunt Sally she was one of the mixed-upest-looking persons I ever see—except one, and that was Uncle Silas, when he come in and they told it all to him. It kind of made him drunk, as you may say, and he didn’t know nothing at all the rest of the day, and preached a prayer-meeting sermon that night that gave him a rattling ruputation, because the oldest man in the world couldn’t a understood it. So Tom’s Aunt Polly, she told all about who I was, and what; and I had to up and tell how I was in such a tight place that when Mrs. Phelps took me for Tom Sawyer—she chipped in and says, “Oh, go on and call me Aunt Sally, I’m used to it now, and ’tain’t no need to change"—that when Aunt Sally took me for Tom Sawyer I had to stand it—there warn’t no other way, and I knowed he wouldn’t mind, because it would be nuts for him, being a mystery, and he’d make an adventure out of it, and be perfectly satisfied. And so it turned out, and he let on to be Sid, and made things as soft as he could for me. Aunt Sally looked more confused than anyone I’d ever seen—well, except for Uncle Silas, who looked even more confused when he came in and they told him the story. It made him kind of drunk, you could say, and he looked confused for the rest of the day. He preached at a prayer meeting that night, and his confusing sermon earned him a new reputation because not even the oldest man in the world could understand what he was talking about. So Tom’s Aunt Polly told everyone who I was, and I had to admit that I’d been in such a bind when Mrs. Phelps had mistaken me for Tom Sawyer—that’s when she chimed in and said “Oh, you can keep calling me Aunt Sally. I’m used to it by now, and see no reason for you to stop.”—that I hadn’t seen any other way out. I said I knew he wouldn’t mind because it created mystery. He’d made an adventure out of it and that would make him perfectly happy. He let everyone think he was Sid and made things as easy as he could for me.
And his Aunt Polly she said Tom was right about old Miss Watson setting Jim free in her will; and so, sure enough, Tom Sawyer had gone and took all that trouble and bother to set a free nigger free! and I couldn’t ever understand before, until that minute and that talk, how he COULD help a body set a nigger free with his bringing-up. Tom and his Aunt Polly were right about Miss Watson having set Jim free in her will. And so, sure enough, Tom Sawyer had gone to all that trouble to set a free n----- free! It was then that I understood how he—with his kind of uprbringing—COULD help someone set a n----- free.
Well, Aunt Polly she said that when Aunt Sally wrote to her that Tom and SID had come all right and safe, she says to herself: Well, Aunt Polly said that when Aunt Sally had written to her that Tom and Sid had come back safe and sound, she’d said to herself:
“Look at that, now! I might have expected it, letting him go off that way without anybody to watch him. So now I got to go and trapse all the way down the river, eleven hundred mile, and find out what that creetur’s up to THIS time, as long as I couldn’t seem to get any answer out of you about it.” “Well would you look at that! I should have expected this after letting him go off on his own without anyone to watch him. Now I have to go and travel all the way down the river, eleven hundred miles, and find out what that child is up to THIS time since I can’t seem to get an answer out of you about what’s going on.”
“Why, I never heard nothing from you,” says Aunt Sally. “But, I never heard anything from you,” said Aunt Sally.
“Well, I wonder! Why, I wrote you twice to ask you what you could mean by Sid being here.” “I wonder why? I wrote you twice to ask you what you meant when you said that Sid was here.”
“Well, I never got ’em, Sis.” “Well, I never got the letters, Sis.”
Aunt Polly she turns around slow and severe, and says: Aunt Polly turned around slowly and severely, and said:
“You, Tom!” “Tom!”
“Well—WHAT?” he says, kind of pettish. “WHAT?” he asked kind of sheepishly.
“Don’t you what ME, you impudent thing—hand out them letters.” “Don’t you ‘what’ ME, you rascal. Hand over those letters.”
“What letters?” “What letters?”
“THEM letters. I be bound, if I have to take a-holt of you I’ll—” “THOSE letters. I swear I’ll get hold of you and….”
“They’re in the trunk. There, now. And they’re just the same as they was when I got them out of the office. I hain’t looked into them, I hain’t touched them. But I knowed they’d make trouble, and I thought if you warn’t in no hurry, I’d—” “They’re in the trunk. Over there. And they’re just the same as they were when I got them out of the office—I haven’t looked in them, and I haven’t touched them. But I knew they’d mean trouble, and I thought that if you weren’t in a hurry, I’d….”
“Well, you DO need skinning, there ain’t no mistake about it. And I wrote another one to tell you I was coming; and I s’pose he—” “Well, you DESERVE to be skinned, make no mistake about that. I wrote you another letter to tell you that I was coming, and I suppose he….”
“No, it come yesterday; I hain’t read it yet, but IT’S all right, I’ve got that one.” “No, it came yesterday. I haven’t read it yet, but THAT letter is just fine. I’ve got that one.”
I wanted to offer to bet two dollars she hadn’t, but I reckoned maybe it was just as safe to not to. So I never said nothing. I wanted to offer a two dollars bet that she didn’t have it, but I decided it was safer not to. So I didn’t say anything.

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