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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

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“They lie—that’s how.” “That’s a lie—that’s how it happened.”
“Looky here—mind how you talk to me; I’m a-standing about all I can stand now—so don’t gimme no sass. I’ve been in town two days, and I hain’t heard nothing but about you bein’ rich. I heard about it away down the river, too. That’s why I come. You git me that money to-morrow—I want it.” “Now look here—watch how you talk to me. I’ve taken about all I can take, so don’t sass me. I’ve been in town only two days, but all I’ve heard about is how you’ve gotten rich. I heard about it way down the river, too. That’s why I came back, because I want it. You get me that money tomorrow.”
“I hain’t got no money.” “But I ain’t got any money.”
“It’s a lie. Judge Thatcher’s got it. You git it. I want it.” “That’s a lie. Judge Thatcher’s got it. So you go and get it, because I want it.”
“I hain’t got no money, I tell you. You ask Judge Thatcher; he’ll tell you the same.” “I told you, I ain’t got any money. You ask Judge Thatcher—he’ll tell you the same thing.”
“All right. I’ll ask him; and I’ll make him pungle, too, or I’ll know the reason why. Say, how much you got in your pocket? I want it.” “Alright, I’ll ask him. And I’ll make him pay up too, or I’ll find out why. Hey, how much you got in your pocket right now? I want it.”
“I hain’t got only a dollar, and I want that to—” “I only got a dollar, and I want that to….”
“It don’t make no difference what you want it for—you just shell it out.” “I don’t care what you want it for—just give it to me.”
He took it and bit it to see if it was good, and then he said he was going down town to get some whisky; said he hadn’t had a drink all day. When he had got out on the shed he put his head in again, and cussed me for putting on frills and trying to be better than him; and when I reckoned he was gone he come back and put his head in again, and told me to mind about that school, because he was going to lay for me and lick me if I didn’t drop that. He took it and bit it to see if it was real silver. Then he said he was going down to the town to buy some whisky because he hadn’t had a drink all day. When he’d climbed out the window and was standing on the shed, he poked his head back in again and swore at me for putting on airs and trying to be better than him. And just when I thought he’d gone, he came back and put his head in again and told me not to go back to school because he’d be watching and beat me if I didn’t stop.
Next day he was drunk, and he went to Judge Thatcher’s and bullyragged him, and tried to make him give up the money; but he couldn’t, and then he swore he’d make the law force him. Next day he went to Judge Thatcher’s house drunk, and harassed him and tried to make him pay up the money. He didn’t have any luck, though, and he swore he’d sue him to make him pay.
The judge and the widow went to law to get the court to take me away from him and let one of them be my guardian; but it was a new judge that had just come, and he didn’t know the old man; so he said courts mustn’t interfere and separate families if they could help it; said he’d druther not take a child away from its father. So Judge Thatcher and the widow had to quit on the business. Judge Thatcher and the widow went to court to take me away from my father and make one of them my legal guardian. But the judge in the case was new in town, and since he didn’t know my old man, he ruled that the court shouldn’t interfere and break up families if they could help it. He said he didn’t want to take a child away from his father, so Judge Thatcher and the widow had no choice but to drop the matter.
That pleased the old man till he couldn’t rest. He said he’d cowhide me till I was black and blue if I didn’t raise some money for him. I borrowed three dollars from Judge Thatcher, and pap took it and got drunk, and went a-blowing around and cussing and whooping and carrying on; and he kept it up all over town, with a tin pan, till most midnight; then they jailed him, and next day they had him before court, and jailed him again for a week. But he said HE was satisfied; said he was boss of his son, and he’d make it warm for HIM. That pleased my old man to no end. He said he’d whip me til I was black and blue if I didn’t get some money for him. I borrowed three dollars from Judge Thatcher. Pap took it, got drunk, and went around yelling and swearing and banging a tin pan all over town until the police put him in jail around midnight. They kept him there for a week, but he said he was satisfied. He said he was the boss of his son, and that he’d beat him.
When he got out the new judge said he was a-going to make a man of him. So he took him to his own house, and dressed him up clean and nice, and had him to breakfast and dinner and supper with the family, and was just old pie to him, so to speak. And after supper he talked to him about temperance and such things till the old man cried, and said he’d been a fool, and fooled away his life; but now he was a-going to turn over a new leaf and be a man nobody wouldn’t be ashamed of, and he hoped the judge would help him and not look down on him. The judge said he could hug him for them words; so he cried, and his wife she cried again; pap said he’d been a man that had always been misunderstood before, and the judge said he believed it. The old man said that what a man wanted that was down was sympathy, and the judge said it was so; so they cried again. And when it was bedtime the old man rose up and held out his hand, and says: When pap got out of jail, the new judge said he’d make a new man out of him. He took pap to his house, dressed him up in nice clean clothes, and had him over for breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the family as if they were old friends. After supper he talked to pap about

temperance

abstaining from alcohol

temperance
and such things til my old man cried. He said he’d been a fool and had squandered away his entire life. But he said he would turn over a new leaf and become the kind of man that other wouldn’t be ashamed of. He said he hoped the new judge wouldn’t look down on him, but instead would help him. The new judge said he was so proud he could give pap a hug. He cried too and so did his wife. Pap said he’d been misunderstood his whole life and just needed some sympathy. The new judge believed him, and they cried some more until it was time for bed and my old man stood up, held out his hand, and said:
“Look at it, gentlemen and ladies all; take a-hold of it; shake it. There’s a hand that was the hand of a hog; but it ain’t so no more; it’s the hand of a man that’s started in on a new life, and’ll die before he’ll go back. You mark them words—don’t forget I said them. It’s a clean hand now; shake it—don’t be afeard.” “Look at my hand, ladies and gentlemen. Take it, shake it. This used to be the hand of a pig, but not any more. Now it’s the hand of a man that’s begun a new life, a man who’ll die before he goes back to his old ways. You mark my words, and don’t forget that I said them. This is a clean hand, now, so don’t be afraid.”

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