Every Book on Your English Syllabus Summed Up in a Quote from The Office
The Tale of Sir Thopas
An elf-queen wol I love, y-wis,
80For in this world no womman is
Worthy to be my make
Alle othere wommen I forsake,
And to an elf-queen I me take
By dale and eek by doune!’
“I’ll sleep with an elf-queen, you’ll see!
No other is good enough for me,
The elf-queen’s without compare
I refuse to have an affair
With any other women out there,
Except the one in my dreams!”
In-to his sadel he clamb anoon,
And priketh over style and stoon
An elf-queen for tespye,
Til he so longe had riden and goon
90That he fond, in a privee woon,
The contree of Fairye
For in that contree was ther noon
That to him dorste ryde or goon,
Neither wyf ne childe.
And so he climbed back on his horse,
And without an ounce of remorse,
Searched for an elf-queen.
He rode far off the beaten course,
And finally came to the source,
Of all that is pristine,
Because there he had recourse,
To fairies and sprites, of course,
And other magical things, I’m sure.
Til that ther cam a greet geaunt,
His name was sir Olifaunt,
A perilous man of dede;
He seyde, ‘child, by Termagaunt,
100But-if thou prike out of myn haunt,
Anon I slee thy stede
Heer is the queen of Fayërye,
With harpe and pype and simphonye
Dwelling in this place.’
But suddenly, there came a giant,
A huge man named Sir Elephant,
Who was dangerous indeed.
He said, “Bug off, you little pissant!
If you don’t I’ll knock your eyes aslant
And kill your beautiful steed
With my spear.
The elf-queen lives on this ground
Where magical creatures abound,
So get the hell outta here!”