Much Ado About Nothing

by: William Shakespeare

Original Text

Modern Text

Enter DOGBERRY,VERGES, andSEXTON, in gowns; and the Watch, withCONRADE and BORACHIO
DOGBERRY, VERGES, the SEXTON (in his official gown), and theWATCHMEN enter, bringing CONRADE and BORACHIO.

DOGBERRY

Is our whole dissembly appeared?

DOGBERRY

VERGES

Oh, a stool and a cushion for the Sexton.

VERGES

Oh, we need a stool and a cushion for the sexton.
A stool is brought in. SEXTON sits
A stool is brought in. The SEXTON sits down.

SEXTON

Which be the malefactors?

SEXTON

Which ones are the malefactors?

DOGBERRY

Marry, that am I and my partner.

DOGBERRY

Sir, that would be me and my partner.

VERGES

5Nay, that’s certain; we have the exhibition to examine.

VERGES

SEXTON

But which are the offenders that are to be examined? Let
them come before Master Constable.

SEXTON

No, you’ve misunderstood me—where are the criminals whom I’m supposed to examine? Have them come in front of the master constable.

DOGBERRY

Yea, marry, let them come before me.
What is your name, friend?

DOGBERRY

Yes, indeed, bring them before me.
BORACHIO andCONRADE come forward
BORACHIO and CONRADE come forward.
10What’s your name, friend?
What’s your name, friend?

BORACHIO

Borachio.

BORACHIO

Borachio.

DOGBERRY

Pray, write down, “Borachio.”—Yours, sirrah?

DOGBERRY

Please, write down “Borachio.”—And yours?

CONRADE

I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.

CONRADE

I’m a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.