Every Shakespeare Play Summed Up in a Quote from The Office
So now I have confessed that he is thine,
And I myself am mortgaged to thy will,
Myself I’ll forfeit, so that other mine
Thou wilt restore to be my comfort still.
But thou wilt not, nor he will not be free,
For thou art covetous, and he is kind.
He learned but surety-like to write for me,
Under that bond that him as fast doth bind.
The statute of thy beauty thou wilt take,
Thou usurer, that put’st forth all to use,
And sue a friend came debtor for my sake;
So him I lose through my unkind abuse.
Him have I lost; thou hast both him and me;
He pays the whole, and yet am I not free.
(Continuing from Sonnet 133) So now I’ve admitted that he’s yours, and I’m legally bound to satisfy your desires too. I’ll give myself up to you if you’ll let go of my friend, so he can come back and comfort me. But you won’t let him go, and he doesn’t want to be free, because you’re greedy and he’s kind. He only became your slave because he was trying to bail me out, like someone co-signing a loan, but now he’s just as much under your power as I am. You’re going to insist on taking what your beauty entitles you to, you loan shark—you loan your body to everybody, and then you go after my friend, who only took you up on it for my sake. So I lose my friend because I allowed him to get tangled up with you. I’ve lost him; you have both him and me; he’s giving you all the sex you’re owed, but I’m still not free.