The Think Tank: Dude, It's Totally Your Fault If Luna Doesn't Marry Neville

From last week's Think Tank, we deduced several things:

1. Wizards don't use Power Point.

2. Kingsley Shacklebolt is a lot like Shaft, and should probably have his own theme song.

3. Chelsea Dagger isn't nearly as dumb as she looks.

Well, that last one is a bit of a stretch, as she was operating under the impression that Wimbledon was a championship tournament for badminton players, but at least she wasn't outsmarted by all y'all again this week—there is only ONE acceptable answer to the riddle (though it can be phrased in different ways), and it only took Chelsea Dagger 13 days, 9 gallons of chocolate milk, and 3 complete mental breakdowns to find it (despite the fact that she had the answer key right in front of her). So let's celebrate the revelation that the founder of Phi Beta Dagger isn't quite as dense as you thought—by inducting our newest members, who shall be greeted with riotous fanfare, a small goody bag full of origami trombones, and five brand new fine-tip Sharpies each!

NEWEST INDUCTEES:
TheWorldsMyStage
itswhoiam
tubagirl194
smandanas
spartan117q
katiebean95
TheKooks
abbyiscool13
saphiraspell
Rodeokinney
JessiJellibean
JacobCHS
Writer247
test_taker_12
Abbysnazzy

And now onto the mean, lean, riddle-solvin' machines known as the  CERTIFIABLE GENIUSES:
ThisIsShe
iamsam_samiam
awesomepianoninja
lojojojo1592
007SQN
BellaSwan1
Epicality
randomness2325
Sydneymac
zzip=>
LilyOfTheValley2
Darthvortex
Fclef
prolife795
14as
Lumos26
ChangminsBabyGirl
LittleSleepingBeauty
Tristis
MHS16
Time_Turner
Dont_panic_42
BellaSwan1

Next up, the indomitable DAGGER AWARDS:

The "Thank You For Confirming My Suspicions That Kingsley Shacklebolt Talks Like a 13-year-old Girl" Dagger Award is presented to awesomepianoninja for:

Dumbledore: YOU ask it.

Kingsley: No, YOU ask.

Dumbledore: I don't want to. YOU do it.

Kingsley: I dont care. Ask the question.

dumbledore: FINE. I will ask the one on the left. You ask the one on the right.

Kingsley: Sure. As long as it doesn't require asking the Sphinx on the left. He is ugly.

Dumbledore: What are you talking about? Both Sphinxes look the same.

Kingsley: (like a 13-year-old girl) WHA-EBBER!!!!

Dumbledore: *sighs*

Sparkitors, please ignore the previous dialogue. That was me instinctively seeing Dumbledore and Kingsley as 13-year old girls fighting over who asks the question. Did anybody see that but me? Because I thought that was somewhat disturbing.

The "THIS FAN-FIC IS ONLY 160 WORDS. YOU OWE ME 840 MORE." Dagger Award is presented to {Insert_Witty_Username_Here} for:

Dearest, darlingest, sweatiest Dagger:
If you look back at my former emails, it's pretty obvious that I'm not interested in PBD, especially since I'm a member many times over. What I really want is a Dagger Award. And I've noticed that most Dagger Awards are thousand-word fanfics, so I think you should try for a little more diversity. Although I've also noticed that pretty much no matter what your answer is, even if it is completely irrelevant and includes no logic whatsoever, will be counted as correct.  Wow. That sounds like an accountant wrote it, and since I like diversity, I'm going to try the highwayman-approach: GIVE ME A DAGGER AWARD AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
Oh, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 comes out on my birthday. Needless to say, I will be attending. At midnight. AND I WILL EAT CHEEZ-ITS. AND YOU DON'T GET ANY UNLESS YOU GIVE ME A DAGGER AWARD.
That is all.

The "You Is Talking Loco and I LIKE IT" Dagger Award is presented to LoverDumplings for:
I would ask the both sphinxes if the wombat-squirrels had taken over the badminton court behind their door. I would know the one who said yes would be lying. Wombat-squirrels are ALWAYS at the secret evil dictator convention this time of year.

The "You Should Win a Pulitzer For The Phrase 'Flaming Birdies of Doom'" Dagger Award is presented to I<3sharks for:

First of all, if you change the "Y" in YMCA to a "W", I'm pretty sure it would just be Wizard Men's Christian Association. Secondly, I solved this one years ago. First, Kingley stated a simple , true fact,  "I have a wand."  Then, he asked the sphinxes "Do I have a wand?"  And, since he really has a wand, he's in the money, or badmitton court.  Upon entering, Dumbledore and Kingsley find Chuck Norris (who may be a robot) and the shark from Jaws (who is a robot and is still alive) hogging the court, preventing Future Neville and his belly-dancer wife, Estella, from playing.  After an epic head-busting, involving flaming birdies of doom and a skateboard showdown, Dumbledore, Kingsley, Future Neville, and Estella enjoy a fast-paced badmitton doubles match.  The end.

The "Cauldron Butts=PRICELESS" Dagger Award is presented to time_turner for:

ANYWAY, I am assuming our dear heroes Misters Kingsley and Dumbledore are not allowed to each ask their own question. So that would mean they should ask "Yo, according to that other sphinx dude over there, is this door thingy over here the correct way to not have to listen to that dumb ol' Weatherby dude talk 'bout cauldron butts?" (Note: I am also assuming Kingsley and Dumbledore talk like confused sixth graders that fancy themselves gangstas.) Then they should go through the opposite door to which the sphinxes pointed.

The "Most Amazing/Slightly Unnerving Costume Jewelry EVER Made" Dagger Award is presented to cupcakemichi, who sent Chelsea Dagger this beautiful picture of a...errr...well, it's BEAUTIFUL, whatever it is:

And finally, the "You Explicate Thangs Like It's Your JOB" Dagger Awards is presented to BOTH itswhoiam AND Rodeokinney for solving the riddle and explaining their reasoning so clearly and beautifully:

itswhoiam's Answer: Dumbledore and Kingsley must approach each of the sphinxes and ask the question, "Will the other sphinx tell me that their door leads to the badminton court?" The sphinx that says "Yes," is guarding the door that they should go through. This took me quite a while to work out, and it's just as time-consuming finding a simple way to explain it. There are two different scenarios.
1. The Truth-Teller is in front of the badminton court, and the Liar is guarding Percy's unfortunately dreadful presentation.
When the Truth-Teller is asked what the other sphinx will say, he knows that the other sphinx is a dirty liar, and he also knows that the other sphinx is guarding the conference room. Therefore, if the Liar was asked if his door led to the badminton court, he would lie and say "Yes." So the Truth-Teller's answer to the question, "Will the other sphinx tell me that their door leads to the badminton court?" would be "Yes." On the other hand, the Liar knows that the Truth-Teller is not only guarding the door to the court, but he also speaks nothing but the truth, and when asked if his door led the the badminton court, the Truth-Teller would certainly reply, "Yes." So the Liar's answer to the question, "Will the other sphinx tell me that their door leads to the badminton court?" would be "No," due to his habit of lying.
2. The Liar is standing in front of the courts and the Truth-Teller is in front of the conference room (hopefully not listening in).
In this senario, the Liar knows that the Truth-Teller is guarding the room that will lead Dumbledore and Kingsley to their deaths. When asked the question, "Will the other sphinx tell me that their door leads to the badminton court?" he knows that the Truth-Teller would really say, "No," so he answers, "Yes." The Truth-Teller is aware that the Liar is really guarding the badminton courts, but if the Liar was asked if he was, he would say, "No." So the Truth-Teller's answer to the question, "Will the other sphinx tell me that their door leads to the badminton court?" would of course be "No." In both senarios, the sphinx that said, "Yes" was standing in front of the door that leads to hours of friendly competition.

Rodeokinney's Answer:  The answers are variations of the same principle, but they are distinct. These answers are simply diagrams of what would happen in each situation, thereupon a logical pattern emerges. I am in no way stating that one would know beforehand if they were talking to the truthful or lying sphinx.
Answer 1: Ask each sphinx the question: "Would the other sphinx say that your door leads to the badminton court?" Whichever sphinx responds with "No" is guarding the door to the courts.
If the lying sphinx is guarding the door to the court, it would lie when asked this question and and say "No," since the other sphinx would truthfully say that the lying sphinx's door leads to the court. When the truthful sphinx is asked this question, it would truthfully say "Ye,s since the other sphinx would lie and say that the truthful sphinx's door leads to the court. If the truthful sphinx is guarding the door to the court, it will truthfully say "No," when asked the question, since the other sphinx would lie and say that the truthful sphinx's door does not lead to the court. When the lying sphinx is asked this question, it would lie and say "Ye"s since the other sphinx would truthfully say that the lying sphinx's door does not lead to the court.
Answer 2: Ask each sphinx the question: "Would the other sphinx say that the door it is guarding leads to the badminton court?" Whichever sphinx responds with "Yes" is guarding the door to the courts, for the same reason only in reverse.

WHA-BAM. (We really wanted to say "BAZINGA" again, but we also greatly fear repetitiveness, which, on a completely unrelated note, is a word that is nearly impossibly to spell correctly on the first try). If you've absorbed enough Sparkler-written hilarity and brilliance, feel free to move on to this week's riddle, which stars two of your all-time favorite HP characters (those of you who just shrieked "Umbridge and Filch!!" are hereby banned from the grounds).

BRAIN TEASER: "Luna Longbottom" Sure Does Have a Nice Ring To It...

The imitable Luna Lovegood is putting the fabulous finishing touches on the greatest radish necklace the world has ever seen and gazing fondly at the pile of gifts that Neville Longbottom’s toad has just delivered: a blue Pygmy Puff named Cactus Thaddeus, a thoughtful poem about Herbology containing the line “Plants are great, but your face is way more pretty,” and several endearingly awful crayon drawing of wrackspurts. She’s looking forward to 4 PM, which is the time of day when Neville always rides his bicycle clumsily past her house and shouts “LUNA! ARE YOU HOME? DO YOU WANT TO GO SEE CHARLIE ST. CLOUD WITH ME, MAYBE? I LOVE YOU?” up at her window. But at precisely 3:59 PM, Luna’s father yells up the stairs that he desperately needs her assistance, and she runs down to the basement to help him. As it turns out, he’s received a glorious job offer from Mr. Weasley to work in the Muggle Artifacts Office, but as part of his interview, he has to solve a riddle involving Muggle objects. This riddle is this:

There are 2 rooms, one containing 3 switches, and the other containing 3 light bulbs. Each switch controls one of the light bulbs, but because the bulbs are in a different room, one can’t SEE which switch controls which bulb. Xenophilius’s task it to figure out which switch controls which light bulb. He can spend as much time has he wants playing with the switches, but once he enters the room with the light bulbs, he can’t go back out. What’s more, after entering the room with the bulbs, he will only have 30 seconds to figure out which switch controls which bulb. How can he know?

Hint: He can’t SEE which switch is connected to which bulb, but all of his other senses are still available to him. What ACTION can he take to find his answer?

If you don’t solve this riddle in exactly 1 MINUTE, Luna won’t be able to see Zac Efron’s latest cinematic offering and split a greasy large popcorn with Neville, and he will end up marrying Hannah Abbot instead. DO YOU WANT THAT ON YOUR CONSCIENCE?! Of course you don’t. So send answers, thinly-veiled threats, 1,001-word fan-fics, and any shiny rocks you find on the street to contribute@sparknotes.com. And don’t forget to give Chelsea Dagger your Sparkler name and tell her whether or not you’re a first-timer, because if you accidentally leave this information out, SHE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL WITH A SIDE OF CHEEZ-ITS.

If you have a SERIOUS ISSUE (like we forgot your name or accidentally put a curse on one of your family members) or if you just have some good old-fashioned Joseph Gordon Levitt-themed poetry to share, hit up Chelsea herself at caaron[at] book dot com.

Related posts: Click HERE for all previous Think Tank posts!