A Sample “3” Argument Essay
A Sample “3” Argument Essay
What happens if you don’t follow our Argument essay template or if you forget about the cast of characters? You get a mediocre score. Don’t even think about arguing with that conclusion. See what we mean by taking a look at this essay, which would receive a “3” on the exam. We’ve included it to show you what not to do on test day.

There are several reasons for the authors statement that the primary reason for our deteriorating health is the “sedentary lifestyle associated with today’s high-tech jobs,” and that “our health will continue to decline as long as we persist in our technological advances.”

While the author states that “studies show that, as we’ve become more technically advanced, our health has deteriorated rapidly. Heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and virtually every major ailment are far more common today than they were 30 years ago,” no evidence is presented that this link is relevant. While it is possible that their is a connection between technolgy and poor health, the author doesn’t support it. The author doesn’t say that there are many other things that could contribute to increases in health problems besides a sedentary lifestyle. In addition, the author states that “studies show,” but does not mention the numberr or kinds of those studies.

Finally, while the statement that health has deteriorated over time may be true, the author says that the lifestyle associated with “today’s high tech jobs” is responsible but does not back it up. Without presenting more information and studies, the author’s claim can be easily disproven.

Why This Essay Deserves a “3”
Oof. Not so hot, this essay. Its so-so argument, mediocre organization, and long-winded second paragraph cost this essay points. This essay only includes two assumptions, and the second one is hardly developed. Plus the conclusion is tacked onto the third paragraph. Our writer hasn’t even clearly identified the assumptions underlying the topic’s argument. Although the vocabulary is passable, the frequent typos are a distraction. First, the essay loses major points for not including a great cast of characters. Finally, quoting the topic does not count as including a quotation.
But let’s look at it compared to the ETS criteria and to our criteria. How do you think it’s going to measure up?
ETS CRITERIA YES OR NO?
Responds to the argument given in the topic YES
Identifies the key features of the argument and analyzes each one in a thoughtful manner NO
Supports each point of critique with insightful examples and analysis NO
Develops its ideas in a clear, organized manner, with appropriate transitions to help connect ideas together NO
Demonstrates proficiency, fluency, and maturity in its use of sentence structure, vocabulary, and idioms YES
Demonstrates an excellent command of the elements of standard written English, including grammar, word usage, spelling, and punctuation—but may contain minor flaws in these areas NO
OUR CRITERIA YES OR NO?
Uses the three-act essay structure NO
States conclusion in first sentence of paragraph 1 YES
Three reasons that support the thesis listed in paragraph 1, in the order in which they’re discussed in essay NO
Topic sentence for reason 1 in paragraph 2 YES
Development sentences to analyze reason 1 YES
Topic sentence for reason 2 in paragraph 3 YES
Development sentences to analyze reason 2 NO
Topic sentence for reason 3 in paragraph 4 NO
Development sentences to analyze reason 3 NO
Conclusion (paragraph 5) rephrases thesis NO
Conclusion (paragraph 5) expands position NO
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