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| Step | Suggested Time (Minutes) |
|---|---|
| Read and interpret the prompt. | 1 |
| Brainstorm. | 3-–4 |
| Outline. | 2-–3 |
| Write. | around 15 |
| Proof/Edit. | 1-–2 |
| Goal | Step |
|---|---|
| Organization | Steps 1, 2, and 3 |
| Support | |
| Writing | Steps 4 and 5 |
| Pro | Con |
|---|---|
| reason | reason |
| example | example |
| reason | reason |
I. Intro A. Thesis statement B. Reasons for thesis statement II. Reason 1 A. Example/evidence in support B. Example/evidence in support C. Example/evidence in support III. Reason 2 A. Example/evidence in support B. Example/evidence in support C. Example/evidence in support IV. Reason 3 A. Example/evidence in support B. Example/evidence in support C. Example/evidence in support V. Conclusion A. Restate—but don’t repeat—thesis statement B. Expand thesis to larger point or relate to another area (optional) |
- Do I have to have a thesis statement?
- Yes. That shows that you’ve taken a position, that you have a point of view, and that you’re thinking about the prompt critically.
- Should I introduce all my reasons in my intro paragraph?
- Yes. It builds out the paragraph, introduces what’s to come (which lays out a “map” for the flow for your readers), and it can also flesh out your thesis statement.
- Do I have to have three reasons and three examples or pieces of evidence?
- No. You can have two reasons, each of which has four examples. But you must have at least two reasons, and they must be well supported. You can also have only two pieces of evidence for each reason if you have three reasons, but avoid having more than three reasons, as you’ll likely run out of time or insufficiently support one or more of the reasons.
- Do I have to have a conclusion?
- Yes. Round out your structure by restating the thesis. Do not use the same words—remember, vocabulary variety is part of the scoring rubric.
- Is expanding my thesis to a larger point really optional?
- Yes. If you’re sure you’ve covered everything, you’ll add this later, as you’ll see below.
- Prepare essay sheets. Get two sheets of college-ruled 8 1/2"-by-11" paper. That’s about the size of your actual Student Response Sheet. Count off about 50 lines and give yourself left and right margins of about a half inch each. That’s about the size you’ll be given. We’ll refer to these sheets of paper as essay sheets throughout the exercise.
- Give yourself some planning space. In addition to the 50 lines above, give yourself about two-thirds of a separate sheet of paper to plan your essay. We’ll refer to this sheet of paper as the planning space throughout the exercise.
- Use the two-column method. We suggest that you separate your planning space into two columns. Use the left column for steps 1 and 2, defining terms and brainstorming. Use the right for step 3, outlining. You’re much less likely to run out of space for your outline that way.
Essay Prompt: Think carefully about the issue presented in the quotations and the assignment below. 1. Technological progress, while often beneficial, has nevertheless outpaced human social and ethical development. We lack the wisdom to manage these increasingly dangerous tools. —Adapted from Hugh B. Riis, “Techno-hazard” 2. The past four centuries have seen the greatest improvement of the human condition in history. Technological progress, while not without its pitfalls, holds out the possibility of achieving a healthier and more humane society in which people lead richer and longer lives than were ever thought possible. —Editorial, “Technology: The Way Forward” Assignment: Is technology dangerous, or does it provide a way to solve our problems? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your position on this issue. Support your point of view with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations. |
- Quote 1 maintains that we humans haven’t caught up morally to our technological power (technological progress . . . has outpaced human social and ethical development . . .). Therefore, we’re not wise enough to manage these tools.
- Quote 2 says that even though technology has its dangers, it’s still the best hope for improving human life.
- We defined technology as “modern machinery or technical processes, like nuclear energy, cars, the Internet, genetic engineering, or medicine.”
- We defined progress as “when more and more people’s lives are made better and better.”
| Pro | Con |
|---|---|
| Pro Tech | Con Tech |
|---|---|
| longer life spans | more people—can’t support them all; ecological stress; fewer resources; more wars |
| medicines, better health care, public health | weapons of mass destruction |
| more art/entertainment: TV, Internet, video games, electric instruments, travel | accidents from WMDs or from nuclear power |
| more wealth—computers and business, more jobs | global warming; environmental destruction; new diseases traveling around the world |
| more time to do more things as travel and computers get cheaper | threat of altering ourselves genetically |
| loss of privacy—surveillance technology | |
| less quiet time—more stress |
I. Intro A. Thesis statement B. Reasons for thesis statement II. Reason 1 A. Example/evidence in support B. Example/evidence in support C. Example/evidence in support III. Reason 2 A. Example/evidence in support B. Example/evidence in support C. Example/evidence in support IV. Reason 3 A. Example/evidence in support B. Example/evidence in support C. Example/evidence in support V. Conclusion A. Restate—but don’t repeat—thesis statement B. Expand thesis to larger point or relate to another area (optional) |
I. Intro A. Thesis statement B. Reasons for thesis statement II. Medical advances cause population explosion A. More people mean fewer resources; more wars: oil wars in middle east B. More people mean more travel (made easier by tech) and spread of disease C. Coming genetic alteration of humanity; eugenics becoming possible III. Ecological stress A. Fewer resources as population grows—oil B. Global warming as more people burn fossil fuels C. Environmental destruction killing species IV. Imminent dangers A. WMDs—technology spreading; terrorism; accident B. New diseases from rise in population and travel: HIV, Ebola C. Loss of privacy as terrorism rises; end of democracy? V. Conclusion A. Restate—but don’t repeat—thesis statement B. Expand thesis to larger point or relate to another area (optional)—end of democracy? |
- We thought of more evidence as we made the outline. That’s to be expected and is a good thing! Furthermore, we didn’t use everything from our brainstorm. You don’t have to shove it all in. As you make decisions on structure, via the outlining process, you’ll discard some ideas and include new ones.
- We only filled in the middle paragraphs with actual reasons and their supporting evidence. Why? To save time—we already know that the first paragraph will contain a thesis statement and introduction, and that the last paragraph will restate the thesis statement and maybe expand it a bit.
- We put one idea—end of democracy—in two places. You don’t have to make every decision up front in the outline. We may use this idea in either of two places, or we may chuck it. We’ll find out as we write.
- We wrote this out more completely than you would. Your outline probably looked more notelike than ours. That’s fine. Only you need to understand it.
While modern technology has given humanity many benefits, it has caused more problems than it has solved. In the last century, amazing advances in medicine and public health have extended the average human life span. However, the resulting population explosion has had all kinds of problems. Furthermore, these problems have led to new dangers with which we may not be able to cope, and which might lead to the end of our way of life. Medical technologies, such as antibiotics and anasthesia, and better public health standards have extended life. While that might seem like a good thing, the world’s population is out of control. All of these people are competing for the same resources, which is leading to increased conflict. For example, two wars have already been fought in the middle east at least in part over oil. Wars over |
resources will only increase as population rises. Furthermore, the increasing population is driving deeper into uninhabited areas, encountering new diseases, like HIV and Ebola. As international travel becomes more widespread, these diseases break out and cause new epidemics against which medicine is sometimes powerless. Finally, cutting-edge genetic technologies seem to be as dangerous as they are beneficial. In fact, it’s not true that an increasing number of people are competing for the same resources. The amount of some resources is actually shrinking. Again, oil is a good example. At some point soon, we will run out of this fuel which supports our entire economy. Similarly, the world’s forests are being cut down at an alarming rate. As more fuel is burned, global warming is actually changing the Earth’s climate. Finally, as population rises and uses up resources, environmental destruction is killing off large number of species. If all this weren’t bad enough, some dangers facing our world stem directly from technology. First, weapons of mass destruction are spreading to other countries, and possibly even to terrorists. Second, these terrorists already use some of our other technologies, such as the Internet and airplanes, against us. As we work to battle the spread of terrorism, we are using sophisticated surveilance technologies. Will the use of these technologies lead to the end of our free way of life? Or will terrorists use other technologies, such as weapons of mass destruction, to cause us even greater harm? It seems that technology creates new problems as it solves old ones. Perhaps humankind should consider pausing for a moment and thinking about whether we’ve matured to the point where we can handle the technologies we’ve created. |
- Language errors you can quickly, easily, and legibly fix.
- Any opportunity to clarify or add to your argument, if it can be done quickly and legibly.
- Any opportunity to remove confusion or incoherence in your essay, if it can be done quickly and legibly.
While modern technology has given humanity many benefits, it has caused more problems than it has solved. In the last century, amazing advances in medicine and public health have extended the average human life span. However, the resulting population explosion has had all kinds of problems. Furthermore, these [1] problems consequences have led to new dangers with which we may not be able to cope, and which might lead to the end of our way of life. Medical technologies, such as antibiotics and anasthesia, and better public health standards have extended life. While these might seem like a good thing, the world’s population is out of control. All of these people are competing for the same resources, which is leading to increased conflict. For example, two wars have already been fought in the [2] middle east Middle East at least in part over oil. Wars over resources will only increase as population rises. Furthermore, the [3] increasing population is driving deeper spreading into uninhabited areas, encountering new diseases, like HIV and Ebola. As international travel becomes more widespread, these diseases [4] break out and cause new epidemics against which medicine is sometimes powerless. Finally, cutting-edge genetic technologies seem to be as dangerous as they are beneficial. In fact, it’s not true that an increasing number of people are competing for the same resources. The amount of some resources is actually shrinking. Again, oil is a good example. At some point soon, we will run out of this fuel [5] which that supports our entire economy. |
Similarly, the world’s forests are being cut down at an alarming rate. As [6] we burn more fuel is burned, global warming is actually changing the Earth’s climate. Finally, as population rises and uses up resources, environmental destruction is killing off large number of species. If all this weren’t bad enough, some dangers facing our world stem directly from technology. First, weapons of mass destruction are spreading to other countries, and possibly even to terrorists. Second, these terrorists already use [7] some of our other technologies, such as the Internet and airplanes, against us. As we work to battle the spread of terrorism, we are using sophisticated surveilance technologies. Will the use of these technologies lead to the end of our free way of life? Or will terrorists use other technologies, such as weapons of mass destruction, to cause us even greater harm? It seems that technology creates new problems [8] even as it solves old ones. Perhaps humankind should consider pausing for a moment [9] to consider and thinking about whether we have the maturity we’ve matured to the point where we can handle these the technologies we’ve created. |
- [1] Notice that we repeated problems. We changed one to a synonym, consequences, increasing vocabulary variety.
- [2] Middle East is a proper noun. It should be capitalized.
- [3] First, we noticed that we used the word increasing (or some form of it) a lot. So we cut it here since it’s clear that the population we’re talking about is rising, as the previous sentence states. Second, the phrase driving deeper seemed awkward when we read it. Anything awkward interrupts the flow of your writing, which is a big no-no. So, we substituted a simpler construction: in this case, a well-chosen and clear verb.
- [4] Cutting is easier and quicker to do than adding, Since being redundant obscures meaning and being concise is very important, don’t hesitate to scribble out needless words. Break out and wasn’t necessary.
- [5] That is usually better than which. We noticed that we use a lot of which clauses in this essay, and why use a which when you don’t really need one? Variation also played a role in this decision.
- [6] We changed a passive construction to an active one. That improves the flow and coherence and makes the essay more concise—all in one fell swoop.
- [7] Made that cut for the same reason as [4]. Trim what fat you can, as time permits.
- [8] The inclusion of this word focused the flow a bit more, giving a picture of well-meant technologies giving rise to new problems as they solve old ones.
- [9] The last sentence needed work. We’re assuming we had the time to do this—as well as all of these corrections. We substituted a forceful infinitive (to consider) for a weak gerund (and thinking about—watch out for that weak and; it can show up like this, too!). We then cut a slew of words in the maturity phrase to make the point more concisely and forcefully. Finally, it’s understood that we are human beings, and we human beings created this technology. No need for those last two words.
- We misspelled surveillance as surveilance and anesthesia as anasthesia in the original and in our final version. So what? Readers will forgive a couple of misspelled words, especially if they’re toughies.
- We used finally at the end of two paragraphs. That’s not great.
- The phrase if all this weren’t bad enough is a little clunky. It could’ve been done better.
- Signpost words are used throughout to lead the reader from one sentence (which is really “one idea”) to the next. The first paragraph is a good example of the proper use of signpost words and words that act as signposts (however, furthermore).
- Reasons support the thesis statement, whether you (or the readers) agree with the thesis or not.
- There are ample and appropriate examples to support each reason.
- There is a lot of variety in sentence structure and vocabulary. Look at each sentence in isolation to see how they vary in structure.
- Note how the outline determined the flow of the argument.
- Note how language enhances the flow in our outline structure. First, oil is purposely repeated as an example in two different paragraphs but is used differently and appropriately in each paragraph. Second, expanding population is shown to have several related consequences. Finally, after detailing eventual and potential threats posed by technology, the conclusion returns to the transition sentence in the first paragraph: Furthermore, these consequences have led to new dangers with which we may not be able to cope, and which might lead to the end of our way of life.
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