Comparisons and Parallelism
What’s wrong with the following sentence?
Like birds, wings have evolved
in some mammals. |
What’s being compared here? Birds and wings or birds and some
mammals? Right, birds and some
mammals. To fix this, put the two things being compared
next to each other:
Like birds, some mammals have
evolved wings. |
Another, trickier example:
Like the Byzantines, Ottoman
buildings often feature huge domes. |
It’s illogical to compare the Byzantines to Ottoman buildings. You’re comparing
people to structures. Instead, compare like with like. Here are some
ways to fix this problem:
Like Byzantine structures, Ottoman
buildings often feature huge domes.
Like the Byzantines, the
Ottomans built structures that feature huge domes.
Like Byzantine architects, Ottoman
architects built structures with huge domes. |
Watch out for that typical SAT distraction, the long intervening
clause:
Like the Byzantines, who in
the course of ruling the eastern Mediterranean basin for a thousand
years left behind much-imitated traditions in law, art, and architecture,
Ottoman architecture often features huge domes. |
No matter how long that intervening clause is, you still
have to compare like with like; this sentence compares the
Byzantines with Ottoman architecture. Note
how the word architecture comes right before Ottoman architecture.
This is a typical SAT device intended to camouflage the mistake.
There are many possible fixes: either compare Byzantines to Ottomans,
Byzantine architecture to Ottoman architecture, Byzantine buildings
to Ottoman buildings, Byzantine architects to Ottoman architects
. . . you get the idea. This kind of error comes up a lot in Sentence and
Paragraph Improvements.
Another key concept is the difference between like and as.
Use like to compare nouns (persons,
places, things, or ideas):
That woman sings
like Aretha Franklin.
This desert looks like the
surface of the moon.
That piece of chicken you cooked
for me is like iron.
Neoconservatism sounds an awful lot
like Wilsonianism to me. |
Use as to compare verbs:
That woman sings powerfully,
just as Aretha Franklin did.
This desert looks barren, just as
the surface of the moon does.
Neoconservatism sounds like a bad
idea to me, just as Wilsonianism did to observers in
the 1910s. |
For the like version of the chicken sentence
above, compare the actions rather than the things and use as:
That piece of chicken you cooked
for me is hard, just as iron is. |
A bit inelegant, isn’t it? The following is better:
That piece of chicken you cooked
for me is as hard as iron. |
As/as is one of a few important constructions
used for comparison. Others are:
| Form |
Example |
| neither/nor |
That candidate has neither the experience nor
the stomach to run for national office. |
| either/or |
Some maintain that a leader can be either honest or
effective. |
| not only/but also |
Others maintain that if we simply change the political
culture, we can have leaders that are not only honest but also effective. |
| the more/the more |
The more things change, the more they stay
the same. |
| the less/the less |
The less people care, the less chance there
is anything will change. |
| both/and |
Both liberals and conservatives hunger for
more effective government. |
| if/then |
If a candidate appeals to what’s best in all citizens,
then that candidate will win in a landslide. |
These forms should always be maintained: Don’t write neither/or or not only/but.
Also, notice how the underlined portions in the example sentences
all follow the same form. In other words, these forms are “parallel.”
Look at this sentence:
I eat lots of vegetables, but
on the other hand, I eat lots of fish. |
You have the other hand, but where’s
the first hand? This sentence is not parallel; to fix it, write:
On the one hand, I eat lots
of vegetables, but on the other hand, I eat lots of fish. |
What’s wrong with the following sentence?
Not only do I like to ski,
but I also like sledding |
The verb in the first clause is an infinitive: to
ski. But the verb in the second clause is a gerund: sledding. Fix
it in one of two ways:
Not only do I like to ski,
but I also like to sled.
Not only do I like skiing, but I also like sledding. |
The need for parallel structure arises in series as well.
The following sentence is incorrect:
Achilles liked killing, running,
and to sulk. |
Again, there are two ways to fix this:
Achilles liked to kill, to
run, and to sulk.
Achilles liked killing, running, and sulking. |
Another version of the parallelism mistake you’re likely
to see is:
Painting with oils is easier
than when you paint with watercolors. |
To fix this, make sure your verbs are in the same form:
Painting with oils is easier
than painting with watercolors. |
As usual, you may encounter sentences with intervening,
camouflaging clauses:
Painting with oils, which you
might as well use if you want to paint at all, is easier than when
you paint with watercolors. |
Don’t be thrown by a camouflaging clause. Change when
you paint to painting, just as we did
in the previous, incorrect sentence.
