You may not be suffering from retinoblastoma or cracking jokes about the robot eyes of the future, but you’re the witty, sensitive, lovable, sometimes sarcastic friend your buddies depend on, and the breakout hero of The Fault in Our Stars. Here are 15 signs you’re totally the Isaac of your friend group:
Your sense of humor is as dark as your sunglasses.
You sometimes fall hard for the wrong person, but in your defense, you couldn’t see where you were going.
You believe there is a season for everything, including egging people’s houses.
Your friends might be self-aggrandizing bastards, but you love them anyway.
You hang onto words like “always” and “forever” and “oven-popped” because you want to believe in true love and snacks that won’t make you fat.
Your insight into your friends’ souls is 20:20.
You often find yourself the third wheel but don’t really mind because you shouldn’t be driving anyway.
You have a “take no hostages” approach to grief.
You really, really wouldn’t mind being someone’s sweet, cuddly shnookie ookums bear and having your friends hear you respond to that nickname in public.
You believe love is blind, and hopefully malignant.
Your friends are intellectual giants, if they could just shut up for a minute and let you appreciate them.
You don’t care if people eye-roll at your PDAs.
You’re not a violent person, but sometimes when you get stressed or angry you can’t help but want to throw things. Your aim is exceedingly poor.
You’re a good matchmaker. In fact, you can pair people up with your eyes closed.
You believe people are figuratively good-hearted, even if that is literally not always the case.
Does your literal heart beat kind of fast for Isaac?