Social media addicts everywhere were frenzied last week when hackers hit Twitter and Facebook, causing delays on both sites.The attack not only delayed our scheduled superpoking, it illustrated just how dependent we’ve become on online interaction. In case you’re too busy tweeting to notice, here are some signs you might be addicted to social media:
You change your status updates on Facebook every hour. Sure, we want to know what you’re doing, but if you’re updating during every commercial break of So You Think You Can Dance? (“Getting a soda,” then “Needs more ice cubes,” then “Eating pretzels”) you will soon become the-Sparkler-who-updated-wolf, and nobody will pay attention when you have important news to share.
You prefer instant messaging to talking in person. OK, we’ve all been guilty of this. You turn your computer on with every intention of writing your history essay, and end up IMing your best friend for hours instead. But excessively IMing people instead of talking face to face means that you could be a hop, skip, and a jump from taking your laptop to restaurants and typing “pass the butter” to your dining companions.
You save all of your big news for Facebook or Twitter updates. Ivanka Trump announced her engagement via Twitter. Paul Abdul tweeted the breaking news that she was leaving American Idol. Everyone wants to share his or her big updates with the world. But your parents shouldn’t be hearing you got into college via Twitter. Some things are better told in person.
You’ve contemplated legally changing your name to your login name. Do you scream “It’s K-Dog 4Evr!” to your parents every time they call you Kevin? Some people become very attached to their online persona, but you’ve got to remember that you need to maintain a human identity. Until the robots take over, at least. Then you can live peacefully as JonasBrothersRule609.
You reference social media as a reputable source. If any of your essay footnotes say “Ashton Kutcher, Twitter, 2009”, don’t be shocked if you don’t get an A. Twitter is like the wikipedia of social media—people can post whatever they like, and you really have no way of knowing if it’s true—or if it’s really even that person.Like the time someone obviously broke into our twitter account and said we cried for days after hearing Robert Pattinson might be dating Kristen Stewart. I mean, come on, that was sooo not us. Really.
Sparklers, stop IMing and let us know your thoughts on social media addiction in the comments.