SparkNotes Blog

Pimp My Locker

So maybe you don’t have a Crib or a Ride, but there is one place this fall that is all yours to pimp out: your school locker. Not just for holding your books, your locker is your territory. And if your dog has taught you anything, it’s that you mark your territory. Let us show you how to transform your four metal walls into the envy of the neighborhood.

  1. Every locker needs a mirror for touch-ups before Chem class with your crush. In the event a full-size three-way mirror does not fit in your locker, may we recommend this one (candle sticks optional)?
  2. Make every day a par-tay with a disco ball hanging from your locker ceiling.
  3. Photo collage. We’re not talking a few snapshots double-stick-taped to your locker door. We’re talking wallpaper that thing with images of your friends, family, and things that inspire you.
  4. Ever wish you could have a theme song, like those kids in movies who trigger the Verve just by walking down a hall? Now you can! Bribe the president of the AV Club to rig your locker to play your favorite song every time you open the door. We think it has something to do with magnets
  5. Between last week’s Nutri-Grain bar moldering at the bottom of your locker and the kid next door who smells like mothballs, your locker has L.O. (locker odor). May we recommend a few flameless scented candles for ambiance and freshening?
  6. While we’re on the topic of Nutri-Grain bars, you know the cardboard pizza from the cafeteria ain’t gonna cut it, and the 2:00 energy slump leaves you feeling like Edward Cullen when he hasn’t hunted for two weeks (minus the black eyes). Keep your locker stocked with snacks. If you can figure out how to fit a mini-fridge, let us know. We tried and ended up electrocuting ourselves in a puddle of melted ice.
  7. Beaded curtains will add an extra degree of privacy when that nosy Mothball Kid starts eyeing your top-shelf Twilight action figure collection.
  8. Anyone can have a boring dry erase board in their locker, but only really cool Sparklers make their To-Do lists on a hanging Etch-a-Sketch.

Books, you ask? Where are your books supposed to go? Sorry, no room anymore. That’s what backpacks are for.

How do you personalize your locker?