SparkNotes Blog

Quiz: Are You a Giant Mess?

Let’s be honest here: all of us are guilty of being a slob from time to time. But there’s a big difference between finding a few dust-bunnies dwelling under your bed and discovering an old bologna sandwich in the depths of your closet that dates back to before you went vegan a few years ago. Fortunately, we’ve got a quick test to help determine which end of the spectrum you fall on (and whether or not you should consider seeking professional help).

1. Inside your school bag, you can find:

a. All of your school work for the current week, color coded and in alphabetical order by subject

b. All of your school work for the year, plus some assignments you “borrowed” from classmates who left their binders unattended.

c. All of your school work from the past 10 years, including a crayon embellished, construction paper hand turkey from preschool.

2. Do you have any pets?

a. Just a hypoallergenic dog and a hairless cat—zero mess means zero clean-up!

b. Yes, a couple dogs, a few cats, five snakes, and one Komodo dragon (but you have to keep that last one on the down-low because it’s not really street-legal).

c. You know that you had a dog at some point, but he followed you into your room a couple of months ago and you haven’t seen him since.

3. In your room, your floor is:

a. Stained hardwood, which you polish every Saturday evening before washing all your windows and dusting every flat surface in sight.

b. Carpeted, but it’s covered by some dirty clothes and a small bloodstain.

c. You’re not exactly sure—you haven’t seen your floor in years.

4. The strangest thing you ever found in your hair was:

a. A split end. (SO horrifying!)

b. A piece of gum (You actually fell asleep while in the middle of blowing a bubble.)

c. A piece of cake (But it came in handy because you forgot to pack a lunch that day.)

5. You like to shower:

a. Daily, but to conserve water, you make sure to keep it under five minutes. Go green!

b. Every other day to conserve water, unless you worked up a sweat doing mixed martial arts. Go Green!

c. Shortly after the point where your legs and armpits have begun to grow moss. Go Green!

If you answered mostly A’s: We definitely wouldn’t classify you as a giant mess, but you might want to loosen up a bit (and try doing something a little more social on Saturday nights).

If you answered mostly B’s: You may only be a moderate mess, but you still might want to clean up your act and get on the right side of the law. Also, we’re a little bit scared of you.

If you answered mostly C’s: Congratulations, you are a huge mess. We’d tell you to give yourself a pat on the back, but we wouldn’t want you to leave a hand-shaped grease stain on your shirt.

Are you a mess?