Valentine’s Day was easier in elementary school. Everyone got 25 cards no matter what, and you didn’t know about calories yet so you could eat half your weight in Dove chocolates without giving it a second thought.
Nowadays, things aren’t so cut-and-dry. If you’re single, you get to watch everyone else receive gifts. If you’re with someone, you get to stress out about giving them a gift that doesn’t suck. I can’t really help you with either of those things, but what I CAN do is this: reassure you that however you’re doing Valentine’s Day, at least know you’re doing it better than the following fictional characters whose idea of romance is dubious at best.